------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .. .. .||. ||.. ... || || || ||.|| `|.. || || `|.. ..|'''.| '|| || '|| '|' ' .... . .... ..||.. ... ..., || .... || '' .|| || || || || .| ' || .|...|| '|. | .|' || || || || || || || || ''|...'| '|..'|' ||. ||. '|..' .||. '|..| ||. '|...' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 1 Coin --------------------------------------------------------------------------- At long last I can welcome you to a new edition of the Canticle. I've sacked my staff, and hired Llandra to help Scarecrazy with this edition. Many thanks to Jerusulum, Dracul, Fir, Isabel, Tandara, Venture, Malire, Spock, Eivind and Westly, who made submissions for print. We welcome suggestions and submissions, so you are invited to mail any of the staff, or myself, if you have any questions, suggestions, or comments. You can also post notes on the submission board in our office, by the humpback bridge. -- Thaddeus Editor-in-Chief The Canticle *-----------------------------------------------------------------------------* <*> CANTICLE INDEX <*> ---------------------------------------+--------------------------------------- The Geographic Society...............2 Religions of Anguish................13 World Watch..........................3 Toll at the Crossroads..............16 Ode to Drakhiya......................4 Dear Laggy..........................17 The Mortal Council...................6 Bear Trouble........................18 Crime Watch..........................9 The Top 10 signs that you are.......19 Arch Interviews: Malire.............10 Late News in Brief..................19 Health and Safety...................12 Gossip..............................20 Classifieds.........................21 ---------------------------------------+--------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: Opinions expressed in The Canticle are not necessarily those of the editor, Law, the AA Senate, or Mothers Against Rich Greysons. Any person regarding this material too seriously may be enthusiastically mocked. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} Geographic Society Stakes Claim on Anguish {=- The once-exclusive Geographic Society of Oerthe has opened its doors to the general adventuring public, and Anguish may never be the same again. Founded in 520 HE, by a group of intrepid explorers whose ranks include such noteworthy personalities as Gaius the immortal, Dion the ranger, and the Gracchus brothers, the Geographic Society has been responsible for much of the exploration and charting of Anguish. Whenever a section of the Elven mists is withdrawn, wherever a new ruin is discovered, a member of the Geographic Society is among the first ones there. By allowing more people to join the Society, it is their hope that new discoveries will be made with increasing frequency. Sadly, rising tensions have come with the increase in membership; Society members are claiming newfound territories for their sponsor guilds, rather than for the sake of knowledge alone. Whether these claims hold any merit remains to be seen. When approached for a statement, King Drin remarked, "Any orc that dares to walk the streets of Nepeth will be slain, and no amount of silly rock piles will save him." ________________________________________________________ |\'-._( / | | \ .'-._\ Unhappy about your looks ? , ,| |-.\' .-; All those scars detracting from '\`-' | | \ .' ( your attractiveness ? _.' \ | |.--.\' _) ;-; \._| | ` _\(_)/_ Visit The Body Shop ! \ `'-,_,-'\ | |______ /(O)\ _______________________________/____)_`-._\| --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 3 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} W O R L D W A T C H {=- Intrepid explorers, venturing into the desert lands revealed by the fallen Southern Mists, have returned with wondrous tales of the strange and ancient civilisations they discovered. Reports of a rodent-like race that dabbled in elemental magic long before the elves and dwarves have been sent to Nepeth, and Drin has funded an expedition to discover more information about this long-dead people. Other reports make mention of a peaceful nomadic tribe, the Azhads, who are cautious in their hospitality. It appears that one of their relics recently disppeared and they are in need of assistance. Meanwhile, the greater majority of travellers have remarked upon a large city found in the heart of the desert, populated by strangely featured Serpentari and ruled by Orcs. Dalairi envoys from the Courts of Chaos are rumoured to have successfully established diplomatic relations with the Drakhiyans, and as yet there is no news from Drin's ambassadors. An increasingly common belief is that the envoy of Knights had unfortunate differences of opinion with the locals about fashion. It is whispered that the 'earbag' accessory sparked considerable controversy in Drakhiyan circles. The discovery of a diamond monolith in the desert has also encouraged treasure seekers to flock to the desert, searching for fabulous riches. ----------------------------------------------------------- | __,,--``\\ Maigyns Magic Shop | | _,,-''`` \\ , | | '----------_.------'-.___|\__ Your source for that little | | _.--''`` `)__ )__ @\__ touch of magic. | | ( .. ''---/___,,E/__,E'------` | | `-''`'' | ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ,',',',',',',', Heart of the Desert ',',',',',',',',', The shadow that lies in the south, it will call you, The dark spot that lies on the earth; And if you find evil within you, you're from there, No matter where from you were birthed. Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland, Drakhiya, the song of your heart, And though you may travel all over in body In spirit you can never part. The vast burning sands of the desert will lure you As stories of killings enthrall; And though you may be a great hero outside it Drakhiya will make you feel small. She'll call you across the vast waves of the desert, She'll call you wherever you go; You'll never forget, then, the city of serpents That stands where hot winds ever blow. (Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland, Drakhiya, the song of your heart, And though you may travel all over in body In spirit you can never part.) In horrible glory she stands on the dune-sides A city of pleasures and pain; And if you will risk a high chance of the dungeon You might find her streets to your gain. And if you're the type to take mind of religion Her god will wage war for your soul; And if you're possessed of exceptional luck, then The thieves might return what they stole. (Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland, Drakhiya, the song of your heart, And though you may travel all over in body In spirit you can never part.) (... continued on page 5) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 5 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (...continued from page 4) In body and history I'm not Drakhiyan, In birth I was from far away; Yet in dark recesses my spirit still knows that In Drakhiya my heart will e'er stay. Drakhiya, alas, gives me both joy and sorrow Drakhiya's both foe, and best friend; And though it was never the land of my rearing Drakhiya will bring me my end. (Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland, Drakhiya, the song of your heart, And though you may travel all over in body In spirit you can never part.) ',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',' ("`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'""`-.__.-'") ) ( ( .oO The AA Juggling Club Oo. ) ) ( ( Meets twice a month at the top room of ) ) the Adventurer's guild. ( ( BYOB (Bring your own balls) ) ) ( ( ** Special lesson on juggling ) ) tupperware by Ishtaq in the ( ( next meeting. ) ) ( ) ( (_..-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.___.-'"`-.__.-'"`-._) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 6 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Mortal Council It is very difficult to elect members to the Mortal Council. How can we evaluate who should be a member, when we don't know what they do? As a Council Member, I am sworn to secrecy on almost every project I am a part of. You have in fact elected me to be privy to information that I cannot reveal. We see a side of the game players shouldn't, simply because it would be like revealing the secret behind an illusion. Once you show everyone how to do it, it is no longer special. It no longer holds the same magic. So what can I tell you about the work we do? I believe the Mortal Council serves a dual purpose. The first is to have a group of experienced mortals playtest new objects and areas going into the game. The second portion of our purpose is to enhance the relations between mortals and Wizards. It requires a dedicated set of players who are willing to listen very carefully to both what the mortals and Wizards want, and to find a compromise between these ideas. We are responsible not only for walking through areas submitted to the testmud, but to take the ideas of the class who elected them and present them to the Wizards. On our own, we are consultants to QC, Balance, Law, and World. What you don't see ------------------ On the testmud, the first thing you need is time. Logging in for thirty minutes, buying a sword at Elmor's and getting a few thousand xp and coins before logging out just doesn't work. First, you must be self-reliant. We can't always just waltz in, buy equipment from the stores, and go have fun. It's work. Every day is a Gaius day. We get a clue, we gather everything we think we could need, and we explore everything. Everything. Our best friend is a set of aliases for examining descriptions. Anything we aren't sure on may mean a tell to Webster, an idea report, or a typo or bug report. You might think that the best tester is a player who is number one on the top player list, part technical writer, part expert coder, and completely without a life because he has retired from these occupations. While these would all help, truthfully, I think the best tester is simply a player with plenty of experience in his class, a few hours free each day or a whole bunch each weekend, who reads the boards, answers questions, and who thinks of some of the weirdest things to do. Though in the end, there is no "right" way to be a representative. (... continued on page 7) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 7 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (... continued from page 6) The testmud is built to try and best simulate the environment of the actual mud, and in fact is different only in the populace, and the addition of any prospective areas and objects to undergo testing. The testmud is basically a mirror of the real mud, with a few extra goodies scattered here or there that need lots of attention. And it's our job to break things in any way we can. On the testmud we are given a board, much like the adventurer's board, to post long reports or ideas on. The board informs us of changes and additions. We post about things we would like to see, our opinions on class changes, and general discussion about Ancient Anguish. Of course, other boards remain, and discussions can be found there as well. In each area, our job is to help tailor the area to what players would like to see without destroying a Wizard's dream, and above all making sure that everything works. Sometimes we are testing months of someone's hard work, which is usually much easier to tear apart than to create. We have not been given access to the testmud so we can demand changes. We are there to give our opinions and make requests. We have to tell people when they do something right just as often as when we think they need to change something, to tell them when something is exceptional as well as when it needs work. We must look at everything, try to read all the descriptions, and find all the secrets so we can eliminate any errors. We want to refine the area before it goes into the game. All this work is done behind the scenes. So if you truly want to make an informed choice, you have to talk to other Council Members, and the Wizards that work on the testmud. You should judge candidates by whether you think they would have the time and devotion to do the job required. What you might see ------------------- You are more likely to see the work we aren't asked to do. Whenever you see a Council Member working on the real mud, it is likely they are doing something for you that was never asked of them. Something that they hope will either make them a better tester, or make things easier for Wizards on the testmud. (... continued on page 8) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 8 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (... continued from page 7) I consider it part of my job to listen to what other mortals want to see, and try to find a coder for good ideas. I would rather know whether or not a wizard is looking at coding my idea, whether it is being considered, and especially if it has been rejected. I try to keep up to date on the boards. This is the first place I look for what my peers would like to see. The most important boards are probably a member's class board, the Adventurer's board, and the Suggestions board. I also tend to watch the Bugs board, the Senate board, and the Announcements board. I feel that if I can answer your question, it means a Wizard doesn't have to. Occasionally I will post on the Ranger board and shout asking for any questions about my class, or Mortal Council in general, and will then try to be available for the next hour to provide answers. In the end I just try to make it known I am around to help, and try to be available. I'm sure some other Council Members do the same. just remember, these are all things that we are not asked to do as Council Members. If you are considering running for the Council, the best first step is to talk to active or former members of the Council to see what it is really like. Being on the Council is a time consuming task, so those of you who don't think you will have the time, might not wish to nominate. Be ready to sacrifice some of the time you spend playing your favorite character to walk through rooms looking for typos and bugs, testing new ideas, and discussing them with their coders. Be ready to work even when you are the only player on the mud. Remind yourself that this is a privilege, not an award; work, not just watching cool previews. Don't become a Council Member just to see the neat stuff coming into the game. And remember to make sure you are having fun. This game is about having fun. Being on the Mortal Council is a lot of hard work. It is difficult sometimes to remember that you are doing this because you love it, not because you have to. - Dracul, Ranger of the House of Amros --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 9 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} C R I M E W A T C H {=- - A call for help issued by the Ancient Anguish Tourist Bureau What's that stuck in your fishing net? It's a puzzle! Specifically, one of four different kinds of wooden puzzles that have been recently pulled in by fishermen. The different types are: a highly polished rectangular board, a triangular block with pegs, a strange board with sliding squares, and a rough circle having crooked wooden pegs. While we are not sure if the same person is responsible for all four types, we suspect so because of the sheer quantity turning up in the local waters (only an idiot would throw items that could be sold for a good price off their boat). Last week, a number of mutant dead fish were found just south of Tantallon along the shoreline. While the exact cause of death has not been decided, the majority opinion indicates that pollution mutated and killed these fish. Are the puzzles the cause? We do not know. One thing is certain. This person polluting our waters with wooden puzzles must be stopped. Anyone knowing the whereabouts of this individual please report it to the Tourist Bureau in Tantallon so that the individual can be arrested. Thank you! * * * * a * ******* * b * c * *********** * d * * e * *************** * f * g * h * i * ******************* * j * k * m * n * p * *********************** ***** ***** ***** ***** ##### ##### ##### ##### * > * * > * * > * * > * # < # # < # # < # # < # ***** ***** ***** ***** ##### ##### ##### ##### 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 10 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Feature: An interview with Malire Over the past year (and a bit) Anguishers have seen the appointment of three new arches, and the Canticle has sent out one of our intrepid reporters to find out more about our 'newbie' admins. Here follows our first interview, with Malire, Arch of Law. Canticle: How long have you been walking the lands of AA? Malire : About 5 years now. Canticle: What is your character's history? (If you roleplay?) Malire : I tend to hunt alone - enjoyed questing alone as well to savour the details in an area. Canticle: Which guild and class did you join at first? Malire : Chaos Mage. Canticle: How long were you mortal before you wizzed? Malire : Now...that would be telling :) [Editor: What is it with these wizards and their sensitivity about age?] Canticle: What is your observations about AA then, vs AA now? Malire : AA was much simpler - more of a hack and slash mud with some great QC. Over time, I think the coding wizards have done a nice job of fleshing out new ideas and getting them installed. Of course, my life'd be easier if there were no rogues on AA :) Canticle: What has kept you coming back to AA, since the very first time that you played? Malire : The creativity. The unlimited possibilities to evolve this mud. And, the level of quality, talent and dedication shown by the wizards and admins creating the backbone for the mud, as well as the wide variety of mortals this mud attracts. Variety! Canticle: What do you think has made AA the success it is today? Malire : Commitment over time. Tenacity. We've been lucky in that people have always pitched in when things got tight. (... continued on page 11) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 11 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (... continued from page 10) Canticle: Name a few of your favourites on AA... Favourite party of all time, favourite monster, favourite quest, favourite area, favourite death, favourite passtime... Malire : Party? I only recall partying once and that was on a quest with two others who later wizzed as well. As an alt, my party favourites were Jim and Buff - can't say I've laughed harder than with those guys. Quest? Greyson's. Area? Depends on what I want - can't really answer without discussing quest areas :( Favourite death? I didn't die. With an alt I went for evil overlord as an elf mage, level 12 while wearing pretty lame armour. That was funny until I lagged. Pasttime? Coding, reading, researching - doing my Law job. And there is nothing better than doing a new quest with a mortal. I still love questing the most. Canticle: What is your personal vision for AA? Do you believe that we will still be around in 5 years, or even 10 years? Malire : We'll be around. There will always be drain off for people who need graphics, perhaps, but I think those that hang here in AA have enough imagination to let the text take them where they want to go. I think the mud as a whole, not just admins, colour the ambiance that AA offers, and so far, there's nothing that can compete with it. Canticle: Do you have a final message for the readers of the Canticle? Malire : Make my job easy by being honest and treating each other well. :) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 12 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} Health and Safety {=- Public Service Announcement There has been an increase recently of empty packets of parkraz littering the streets of Tantallon. Please dispose of these packets in the garbage bins conveniently located in most of the stores in the city. -- AA's Tourism council Health Tip Smoking parkraz can be harzardous to your health. Studies have shown that parkraz is 50% more likely to cause breathing problems in Elves then in any other race. Parkyholic Anonymous meets every Fifthday, 8 pm at the townhall, if you require help to stop smoking. -- The Orc Surgeon A public demand Tantallon citizens have demanded that the Ancient Anguish Tourism council admit the existance of rogues on AA. A representative of the new movement against crime in the city, S****, presented a list of their demands to the Canticle, stating that they wish to be heard publically. They claim that the sudden increase in missing coins and pipes prove their case. As further evidence, they mention possession of an 'expired contract of protection.' Foremost amongst their demands were that the Citizens should be warned publically, or else a legal suit would be instituted against the Tourism Council. The Tourism Council was unavailable for comment. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 13 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} DEVOTION {=- You can find dozens of different religions and beliefs from the realm of Ancient Anguish. The cleric class does not define the gods the clerics follow at all, so it is just a labor union for priests. So far I have not run into a Chaoser who have told me anything specific about worshipping Chaos, but I have run into people who have told me about Antana, guardian spirits and the Tusked One. -- Fir, of the House of Amros Antana Antana is the protector of the 'Monks of Antana', and the patron of the temple in the village of Neville, previously known as Caddia. She enjoys nature and is offended by the destruction of natural things. She is often depicted as a beautiful young woman with long flowing hair of gold. She bears a limewood staff in her left hand and wears a robe of the finest white silk. The worshipping of Antana includes living by the 10 standards written by Antana (with the help of the guildmasters, I believe) and regularly confessing your sins. The collection of standards includes dont's like killing fellow people, stealing and using foul language. It encourages a calm, peaceful and relatively quiet life. In return of following her laws, Antana is always there for her worshippers to offer comfort and protection. She seldom appears to her followers, but exists mostly in their hearts. There are evil and nasty Monks as well. Antana does not mind a person's "bad" alignment as long as s/he does not rebel against her will. Her alignment seems to be neutral-good. When asked to give a reason why to follow Antana, a Monk replied: Her purity and goodness. And, of course, the people. Besides worshipping Antana, you see, the Monks also enjoy the company of the like-minded. The community seems to be a friendly one. The "natural enemy" of Antana seems to be Chaos. The order doesn't allow necromancers to call themselves Monks of Antana. (... continued on page 14) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 14 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (... continued from page 13) Guardian Spirits The members of the Black Bear, or Bears in short, don't have an actual god, but they have the guild shaman, Ewani, to teach them about guardian spirits. The spirits are much like tribal totems, and basically represent the elements and a selection of creatures: Water, Land, Air, Hawk, Bear, Wolf and Eagle. A person can get into a contact with his/her guardian spirit in the vision cave, where the guardian spirit appears in a dream. One person has one guardian spirit. In exchange of sacrificing their kills to their guardian spirit and thus earning spiritual nirvana, the Bears receive protection and some mystical powers that are based on the spirit's favours. By strengthening their guardian spirit through sacrifices enough the Bears can also gain guild titles. There are no standards or laws the guardian spirits demand the Bears to follow, the rules inside the guild are mostly social. The alignment of the guardian spirits seems to be neutral. They have no actual enemy, perhaps excluding the things that lead into the destruction of the creatures of the wild or corrupt the elements. The Tusked One The Tusked One is the god of True Orcs, a god with tusks (being orcish) and he preaches a manifesto of death, destruction, revenge and orc supremecy. As most orcs, the god is rather straightforward: When the walls of mist come down and the brother orcs march in from the west, his followers will unite and slaughter all elves, humans and probably dwarves as well and take over the lands for the orcs. All orcs don't follow the Tusked One, and there doesn't seem to be An Official Orc Religion any more than official human, elf or :.--._, or dwarf religion. For the followers of the Tusked One / .:/ other orcs aren't sacred either - they have sworn to / .;' kill the Dalairi Orcs (King Kazarov) "because they ,' .;' are traitors who sold out and made a treaty _-' .:' with the humans". There has been ____....--~~ _.-' ~~------+~~ (...continued on page 15) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 15 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (... continued from page 14) vague talk of alliance with the Scythe, but the worshipper I talked with suspected that it would be for convenience only. :.--._, / .:/ The Tusked One doesn't hold non-orcs worthy followers / .;' They shall all be eliminated and/or enslaved (in ,' .;' any order). The alignment of the Tusked One .' .:' seems to be evil. His natural enemies are ____....--~~ .-' humans, elves and dwarves, for invading ~~------+~~ the land that rightfully belongs to orcs, and also the heretic orcs who have betrayed their own kind. All these shall be punished and the True Orcs shall rule the Realm. [More information on the Tusked One can be found in the orc slaver camp in the woods, or from the followers, e.g. Bunnyfoofoo or Ransome.] _____________________________________________________________|_|_ --------------------------------------------------------------\ \ \ \ Many among us spend a good amount of time devoted to \ | worshipping an obscure diety, or live under the iron | | grip of an archaic despot that controls their actions, / / their finances, and ultimately their minds. We of the |/ Scythe think that the most valuable good a sentient being can possess is freedom. We call upon the warriors of Ancient Anguish to come join us as brothers and /| sisters, and to believe in ourselves, above anything / / or anyone else. So come check us out! Our regular | | meeting place is not far from the main village. | \ We ask little and offer a lot. \ \ \_ \__________________________________________________________ |-|--------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 16 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} Proposed New Toll at Crossroads!!! {=- The Tourism Council successfully lobbied to prevent a toll at the Tantallon Crossroads. Local businesses would have received monthly stipends for building repairs and renovations. Part of the revenue was slated for road maintenance. The toll would have levied a 3 coin tax on all north-south bound pedestrians. Lou, who refused to comment on the issue, may have greased a few palms to prevent an east-west toll. What did some of the local shopkeepers have to say about the toll? Fredd, a major advocate of the toll, commented, "Ever since my father retired, I've been trying to fix the store up. The additional money would really help. The street outside my shop desperately needs some serious work. I do what I can to pick up trash and the larger stones, but I am busy selling medicinals most of the time. Medicinals have become very popular, you know, and my shop is the only one that sells them." Fredd went on to mention that her shop is located at the south end of Trader Lane. When asked about the toll, Maigyn said, "That coach ticket sign hasn't been changed since the old woman opened up shop, and she's been there so long, everyone has forgotten her name!" Woolcroft, proprietor of Wedding Wares, was unconcerned. "The toll would not affect my business at all. People will still get married and need wedding clothing. I don't need the additional money, as I carefully budget my income to cover expenses, as any well-run shop should. In fact, I might use the additional money to fund expeditions to search for Kendren's missing locket. I feel so sorry for that girl. She's been looking for that locket for as long as I can remember." The half-elf, Villa, who started the campaign, was overheard to say, "I just wanted to stir up some excitement in the town. I'm not really all that upset it didn't go through." For the time being, at least, it appears that no toll will plague the visitors of Tantallon. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 17 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} Dear Laggy {=- Dear Laggy, My husband recently entered the immoral, err, immortal realm and now all he wants to do is CODE! He never socializes with anyone except his NPCs anymore. I heard he even made an NPC to replace me. What should I do? Anguished Mortal Wife Dear Anguished Wife, It sounds like your husband is OBSESSED! Have you talked to him about it? Unless he realises his problem, there is no way to help him. If he realises it but doesn't want to get help, my advice for you is to find a new husband. Laggy ~o~ Dear Laggy, Recently my life has consisted of mudding on Ancient Anguish and sleeping, though mostly mudding. Sometimes I can't seem to stay awake! Am I the only one with this problem? What can I do? Addicted Dear Addicted, Ah, you are not the only one with this problem. More than half the population of Ancient Anguish is cursed with it. It's like a disease. My advice is to treat it like a whiteleaf addiction. Sleep less and less every day, until eventually you can mud without interruption. Laggy ~o~ Dear Laggy, Recently I have been having these irrational urges to stack stones everywhere that I go, carving my name into them. I realise that this is not normal, but I seem to be unable to stop it! Stone Mason Dear Stone Mason, Claiming your territory is a primitive (male) instinct, and as such perfectly normal. Furthermore, the building of cairns with supplies in them shows admirable foresight and consideration for your fellow mudders. Please leave 1000 coins in the cairn beneath the second tree in the Park. Laggy --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 18 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Bear Trouble - There has been some talk of replacing Ewani, the guild shaman of the guild of the Black Bear, due to him being "old and grumpy" and getting too weak to fight back raiders. He allows no cute, stuffed animals go past him, insisting on not having any of such "nursery" stuff, but on the other hand he often fails to keep more dangerous defilers out. Also, Ewani has failed to train his pet bear, Growle, to behave. Word has it that although a certain completely innocent reporter was being awfully nice to the furry thing the other day, the monster's thanks included having serious, physically offensive /attitude/ at the perfectly peaceful clergyperson! And the reporter probably wasn't the first victim, either. (Do remember to keep your wild animals in a leash, at least in town, folks.) --Fir, field-worker at all cost .--. .--. The Realm of the Black Bear : (\ ". _......_ ." /) : '. ` ` .' The forests of Anguish is the Realm of the /' _ _ `\ Black Bear, their home and playground. Its / 0} {0 \ members hold dear a spirituality about the | / \ | land and the wilderness, and the | /' `\ | desecration thereof is to summon _ _ \ | . .==. . | / the wrath of the Black Bear. _(_)(_)_ '._ \.' \__/ './ _.' (_).--.(_) / ``'._-''-_.'`` \ / \ `--` _ _ \ / The Black Bear is open to rangers, _(_)(_)_ '--' clerics, mages, adventurers and (_).--.(_) fighters. / \ \ / '--' jgs --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 19 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -=} The Top Ten Signs that you are... {=- Eldar 10) You cannot find Duendar, and you are on a first name basis with Pathorien. 9) You can find Duendar, and Norich has given you a season-ticket. 8) You can swim. In fact, you have 'swim w' aliased. 7) Duendar? You have never been there. Now, Duender... You've been there. Once. 6) You know what colour the Western Mists are. 5) You know what 'smap' is. 4) Tandara has posted a smappy note because YOU wanted smap! 3) You have a dsoul for 'the toadfish one.' 2) Sightings of Ricochet are significant events, and you spread the news widely, but noone believes you. And the #1 sign that you are an Eldar: 1) You have issues. -=} Late News in Brief {=- A culinary war has broken out in the realm. This follows after claims have been heard that the Publican's knuggets are more tasty than the kniggets served in Misha's kitchen. The castle cook have responded with outrage, challenging the Scythe Clan's cook to a cook-out. This is not the first time that this debate has raged in the realm, and it appears that it will not be the last. The Canticle asked a few citizens of the realm for their opinion, and received many divided opinions. One observer ventured to say: "The cheese knigget tastes like a little slice of heaven. The knugget, on the other hand, tastes like Zwr." A date for the cook-out has not yet been set and the controversy continues to rage. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 20 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --=> Gossip <=-- A has been spotted hovering in the shadows of hobbitat pub. B has supposedly refurnished his home entirely with marble using the donation money. C has been whisked off to the Copacabana for a night of passion by B. D, the master of slackers, has actually been spotted coding! E's elephant oughta be taken out and shot. F and S has been exchanging sexual innuendos in public. Spectators are still in shock. G cooks his steak with pliers. Another G doesn't cook his steak. H has been seen riding H all day long. I has claimed the life of yet another dwarven explorer. J has someone's marbles. K finally gave birth to cuddly K junior! L and L are having fun confusing everyone. Big M is watching you. N's strings is constantly being fought over. O is a dirty old man with a silver tongue. P is secretly believed to be a teddy bear at heart. Q is getting bored in his hut. Sightings of R has caused much uproar in the Eldar. Many still refuse to believe in it. S tells good fairy tales. T has issues. U also has issues. V has been seen in his workroom crooning songs written by B. Is he applying for a the position of tavern singer in hobbitat? W is making a name for himself as a bard... but he's not a bard, is he? X and C are still looking at each other with lovesick eyes. Y has been spotted roaming the forests near Duendar again. Z has been hissing menacingly at random passersby. --=> The Gossip Gurus <=-- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 21 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- _________________________________________________________________________ | ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ___ ____ | | The Canticle / / // / / / / / / | / | | / / /___//____ /____ / /__ / /__ / //____ | | / / / / / / / / / / / / / | | / / / / / / / / / / / / / | | /___ /___ / / ____/ ____/__/_ / __/_ /___ /____/ ____/ | |_________________________________________________________________________| |_________________________________________________________________________| | | | | | Tracker for Hire: | Wanted: | World Bitch seeks | | Lost in the woods? | Subjects for scientific | slave. Must love a | | Can't seem to find | experiments. | good thong snapping. | | Tantallon? | Apply at Alton. | Submit resume at | | Contessa Isabel, of |_________________________| the canticle office. | | the Courts of Chaos, | |_______________________| | is here to help. | An aspiring Paladin | | | Send her a tell. | seeks someone to | Single green orc seek | | Rates are reasonable. | train him in the ways | same for romance, | | If I can't find you, | of valour and honour. | elf-beating and long | | no one can. | Contact Smashmouth. | walks in the dump. | | -Contessa Isabel |_________________________| --Boki | |_______________________| |_______________________| | A, | Overwhelmed apprentice, | | | Come home, | looking for people to | Young talented Bard | | All is forgiven. | code for him. Will pay | seeking rich patron. | | Love Law | with rabid monkeys, | Minuet | |_______________________| mail Dubanka. |_______________________| | |_________________________| | | Tika wishes her | | Single male elf, half-| | fellow bears safety | Wanted: Fresh Blood. | drow, seeking female | | in their journies and | Must be willing to die | human, elf, half-elf | | joy in the coming | with a smile in your | for alternating | | celebrations. | face. Meet me in the | giddiness and merci- | |_______________________| poison ivy patch. | less slaughter of | | | And if you see Petite, | fuzzies. Ability to | | Join the underground | give her all your | smap a plus, as is | | revolution! But first | money. | being a ranger. | | you must find us. | | Mail Loranar. | |_______________________|_________________________|_______________________|