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.. ..
.||. ||.. ...
|| || || ||.||
`|.. || || `|.. ..|'''.| '|| || '||
'|' ' .... . .... ..||.. ... ..., || ....
|| '' .|| || || || || .| ' || .|...||
'|. | .|' || || || || || || || ||
''|...'| '|..'|' ||. ||. '|..' .||. '|..| ||. '|...'
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 1 Coin
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At long last I can welcome you to a new edition of the Canticle. I've
sacked my staff, and hired Llandra to help Scarecrazy with this edition.
Many thanks to Jerusulum, Dracul, Fir, Isabel, Tandara, Venture, Malire,
Spock, Eivind and Westly, who made submissions for print.
We welcome suggestions and submissions, so you are invited to mail any
of the staff, or myself, if you have any questions, suggestions, or comments.
You can also post notes on the submission board in our office, by the humpback
bridge.
-- Thaddeus
Editor-in-Chief
The Canticle
*-----------------------------------------------------------------------------*
<*> CANTICLE INDEX <*>
---------------------------------------+---------------------------------------
The Geographic Society...............2 Religions of Anguish................13
World Watch..........................3 Toll at the Crossroads..............16
Ode to Drakhiya......................4 Dear Laggy..........................17
The Mortal Council...................6 Bear Trouble........................18
Crime Watch..........................9 The Top 10 signs that you are.......19
Arch Interviews: Malire.............10 Late News in Brief..................19
Health and Safety...................12 Gossip..............................20
Classifieds.........................21
---------------------------------------+---------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: Opinions expressed in The Canticle are not necessarily those of
the editor, Law, the AA Senate, or Mothers Against Rich Greysons. Any person
regarding this material too seriously may be enthusiastically mocked.
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 2
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-=} Geographic Society Stakes Claim on Anguish {=-
The once-exclusive Geographic Society of Oerthe has opened its doors to
the general adventuring public, and Anguish may never be the same again.
Founded in 520 HE, by a group of intrepid explorers whose ranks include
such noteworthy personalities as Gaius the immortal, Dion the ranger,
and the Gracchus brothers, the Geographic Society has been responsible
for much of the exploration and charting of Anguish. Whenever a section
of the Elven mists is withdrawn, wherever a new ruin is discovered, a
member of the Geographic Society is among the first ones there.
By allowing more people to join the Society, it is their hope that new
discoveries will be made with increasing frequency. Sadly, rising tensions
have come with the increase in membership; Society members are claiming
newfound territories for their sponsor guilds, rather than for the sake of
knowledge alone. Whether these claims hold any merit remains to be seen.
When approached for a statement, King Drin remarked, "Any orc that dares
to walk the streets of Nepeth will be slain, and no amount of silly rock
piles will save him."
________________________________________________________
|\'-._( / |
| \ .'-._\ Unhappy about your looks ? , ,|
|-.\' .-; All those scars detracting from '\`-' |
| \ .' ( your attractiveness ? _.' \ |
|.--.\' _) ;-; \._|
| ` _\(_)/_ Visit The Body Shop ! \ `'-,_,-'\ |
|______ /(O)\ _______________________________/____)_`-._\|
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 3
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-=} W O R L D W A T C H {=-
Intrepid explorers, venturing into the desert lands revealed by the fallen
Southern Mists, have returned with wondrous tales of the strange and ancient
civilisations they discovered.
Reports of a rodent-like race that dabbled in elemental magic long before the
elves and dwarves have been sent to Nepeth, and Drin has funded an expedition
to discover more information about this long-dead people.
Other reports make mention of a peaceful nomadic tribe, the Azhads, who are
cautious in their hospitality. It appears that one of their relics recently
disppeared and they are in need of assistance.
Meanwhile, the greater majority of travellers have remarked upon a large
city found in the heart of the desert, populated by strangely featured
Serpentari and ruled by Orcs. Dalairi envoys from the Courts of Chaos are
rumoured to have successfully established diplomatic relations with the
Drakhiyans, and as yet there is no news from Drin's ambassadors.
An increasingly common belief is that the envoy of Knights had unfortunate
differences of opinion with the locals about fashion. It is whispered that
the 'earbag' accessory sparked considerable controversy in Drakhiyan circles.
The discovery of a diamond monolith in the desert has also encouraged
treasure seekers to flock to the desert, searching for fabulous riches.
-----------------------------------------------------------
| __,,--``\\ Maigyns Magic Shop |
| _,,-''`` \\ , |
| '----------_.------'-.___|\__ Your source for that little |
| _.--''`` `)__ )__ @\__ touch of magic. |
| ( .. ''---/___,,E/__,E'------` |
| `-''`'' |
-----------------------------------------------------------
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 4
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,',',',',',',', Heart of the Desert ',',',',',',',',',
The shadow that lies in the south, it will call you,
The dark spot that lies on the earth;
And if you find evil within you, you're from there,
No matter where from you were birthed.
Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland,
Drakhiya, the song of your heart,
And though you may travel all over in body
In spirit you can never part.
The vast burning sands of the desert will lure you
As stories of killings enthrall;
And though you may be a great hero outside it
Drakhiya will make you feel small.
She'll call you across the vast waves of the desert,
She'll call you wherever you go;
You'll never forget, then, the city of serpents
That stands where hot winds ever blow.
(Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland,
Drakhiya, the song of your heart,
And though you may travel all over in body
In spirit you can never part.)
In horrible glory she stands on the dune-sides
A city of pleasures and pain;
And if you will risk a high chance of the dungeon
You might find her streets to your gain.
And if you're the type to take mind of religion
Her god will wage war for your soul;
And if you're possessed of exceptional luck, then
The thieves might return what they stole.
(Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland,
Drakhiya, the song of your heart,
And though you may travel all over in body
In spirit you can never part.)
(... continued on page 5)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 5
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(...continued from page 4)
In body and history I'm not Drakhiyan,
In birth I was from far away;
Yet in dark recesses my spirit still knows that
In Drakhiya my heart will e'er stay.
Drakhiya, alas, gives me both joy and sorrow
Drakhiya's both foe, and best friend;
And though it was never the land of my rearing
Drakhiya will bring me my end.
(Drakhiya, Drakhiya, the face of our homeland,
Drakhiya, the song of your heart,
And though you may travel all over in body
In spirit you can never part.)
',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',',','
("`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'""`-.__.-'")
) (
( .oO The AA Juggling Club Oo. )
) (
( Meets twice a month at the top room of )
) the Adventurer's guild. (
( BYOB (Bring your own balls) )
) (
( ** Special lesson on juggling )
) tupperware by Ishtaq in the (
( next meeting. )
) (
) (
(_..-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.__.-'"`-.___.-'"`-.__.-'"`-._)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 6
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The Mortal Council
It is very difficult to elect members to the Mortal Council. How can we
evaluate who should be a member, when we don't know what they do? As
a Council Member, I am sworn to secrecy on almost every project I am a part
of. You have in fact elected me to be privy to information that I cannot
reveal. We see a side of the game players shouldn't, simply because it would
be like revealing the secret behind an illusion. Once you show everyone
how to do it, it is no longer special. It no longer holds the same magic.
So what can I tell you about the work we do?
I believe the Mortal Council serves a dual purpose. The first is to have a
group of experienced mortals playtest new objects and areas going into the
game. The second portion of our purpose is to enhance the relations between
mortals and Wizards. It requires a dedicated set of players who are willing
to listen very carefully to both what the mortals and Wizards want, and to
find a compromise between these ideas. We are responsible not only for
walking through areas submitted to the testmud, but to take the ideas of the
class who elected them and present them to the Wizards. On our own, we are
consultants to QC, Balance, Law, and World.
What you don't see
------------------
On the testmud, the first thing you need is time. Logging in for thirty
minutes, buying a sword at Elmor's and getting a few thousand xp and coins
before logging out just doesn't work. First, you must be self-reliant. We
can't always just waltz in, buy equipment from the stores, and go have fun.
It's work. Every day is a Gaius day. We get a clue, we gather everything
we think we could need, and we explore everything. Everything. Our best
friend is a set of aliases for examining descriptions. Anything we aren't
sure on may mean a tell to Webster, an idea report, or a typo or bug report.
You might think that the best tester is a player who is number one on the
top player list, part technical writer, part expert coder, and completely
without a life because he has retired from these occupations. While these
would all help, truthfully, I think the best tester is simply a player with
plenty of experience in his class, a few hours free each day or a whole
bunch each weekend, who reads the boards, answers questions, and who thinks
of some of the weirdest things to do. Though in the end, there is no "right"
way to be a representative.
(... continued on page 7)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 7
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(... continued from page 6)
The testmud is built to try and best simulate the environment of the actual
mud, and in fact is different only in the populace, and the addition of any
prospective areas and objects to undergo testing. The testmud is basically
a mirror of the real mud, with a few extra goodies scattered here or there
that need lots of attention. And it's our job to break things in any way we
can.
On the testmud we are given a board, much like the adventurer's board, to
post long reports or ideas on. The board informs us of changes and additions.
We post about things we would like to see, our opinions on class changes, and
general discussion about Ancient Anguish. Of course, other boards remain,
and discussions can be found there as well.
In each area, our job is to help tailor the area to what players would like
to see without destroying a Wizard's dream, and above all making sure that
everything works. Sometimes we are testing months of someone's hard work,
which is usually much easier to tear apart than to create. We have not been
given access to the testmud so we can demand changes. We are there to give our
opinions and make requests. We have to tell people when they do something
right just as often as when we think they need to change something, to
tell them when something is exceptional as well as when it needs work. We
must look at everything, try to read all the descriptions, and find all the
secrets so we can eliminate any errors. We want to refine the area before
it goes into the game.
All this work is done behind the scenes. So if you truly want to make an
informed choice, you have to talk to other Council Members, and the Wizards
that work on the testmud. You should judge candidates by whether you think
they would have the time and devotion to do the job required.
What you might see
-------------------
You are more likely to see the work we aren't asked to do. Whenever you
see a Council Member working on the real mud, it is likely they are doing
something for you that was never asked of them. Something that they hope
will either make them a better tester, or make things easier for Wizards on
the testmud.
(... continued on page 8)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 8
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(... continued from page 7)
I consider it part of my job to listen to what other mortals want to see,
and try to find a coder for good ideas. I would rather know whether or not
a wizard is looking at coding my idea, whether it is being considered, and
especially if it has been rejected. I try to keep up to date on the boards.
This is the first place I look for what my peers would like to see. The
most important boards are probably a member's class board, the Adventurer's
board, and the Suggestions board. I also tend to watch the Bugs board, the
Senate board, and the Announcements board. I feel that if I can answer your
question, it means a Wizard doesn't have to. Occasionally I will post on
the Ranger board and shout asking for any questions about my class, or Mortal
Council in general, and will then try to be available for the next hour to
provide answers. In the end I just try to make it known I am around to help,
and try to be available. I'm sure some other Council Members do the same.
just remember, these are all things that we are not asked to do as Council
Members.
If you are considering running for the Council, the best first step is to
talk to active or former members of the Council to see what it is really
like. Being on the Council is a time consuming task, so those of you who
don't think you will have the time, might not wish to nominate. Be ready to
sacrifice some of the time you spend playing your favorite character to walk
through rooms looking for typos and bugs, testing new ideas, and discussing
them with their coders. Be ready to work even when you are the only player
on the mud. Remind yourself that this is a privilege, not an award; work, not
just watching cool previews. Don't become a Council Member just to see the
neat stuff coming into the game. And remember to make sure you are having
fun. This game is about having fun. Being on the Mortal Council is a lot
of hard work. It is difficult sometimes to remember that you are doing this
because you love it, not because you have to.
- Dracul, Ranger of the House of Amros
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 9
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-=} C R I M E W A T C H {=-
- A call for help issued by the Ancient Anguish Tourist Bureau
What's that stuck in your fishing net? It's a puzzle! Specifically, one of
four different kinds of wooden puzzles that have been recently pulled in by
fishermen. The different types are: a highly polished rectangular board, a
triangular block with pegs, a strange board with sliding squares, and a
rough circle having crooked wooden pegs.
While we are not sure if the same person is responsible for all four types,
we suspect so because of the sheer quantity turning up in the local waters
(only an idiot would throw items that could be sold for a good price off
their boat). Last week, a number of mutant dead fish were found just south
of Tantallon along the shoreline. While the exact cause of death has not
been decided, the majority opinion indicates that pollution mutated and
killed these fish.
Are the puzzles the cause? We do not know. One thing is certain. This person
polluting our waters with wooden puzzles must be stopped. Anyone knowing the
whereabouts of this individual please report it to the Tourist Bureau in
Tantallon so that the individual can be arrested. Thank you!
*
* *
* a *
*******
* b * c *
***********
* d * * e *
***************
* f * g * h * i *
*******************
* j * k * m * n * p *
***********************
***** ***** ***** ***** ##### ##### ##### #####
* > * * > * * > * * > * # < # # < # # < # # < #
***** ***** ***** ***** ##### ##### ##### #####
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 10
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Feature: An interview with Malire
Over the past year (and a bit) Anguishers have seen the appointment of
three new arches, and the Canticle has sent out one of our intrepid
reporters to find out more about our 'newbie' admins. Here follows our
first interview, with Malire, Arch of Law.
Canticle: How long have you been walking the lands of AA?
Malire : About 5 years now.
Canticle: What is your character's history? (If you roleplay?)
Malire : I tend to hunt alone - enjoyed questing alone as well to savour
the details in an area.
Canticle: Which guild and class did you join at first?
Malire : Chaos Mage.
Canticle: How long were you mortal before you wizzed?
Malire : Now...that would be telling :)
[Editor: What is it with these wizards and their sensitivity about age?]
Canticle: What is your observations about AA then, vs AA now?
Malire : AA was much simpler - more of a hack and slash mud with some
great QC. Over time, I think the coding wizards have done a
nice job of fleshing out new ideas and getting them installed.
Of course, my life'd be easier if there were no rogues on AA :)
Canticle: What has kept you coming back to AA, since the very first time
that you played?
Malire : The creativity. The unlimited possibilities to evolve this mud.
And, the level of quality, talent and dedication shown by the
wizards and admins creating the backbone for the mud, as well
as the wide variety of mortals this mud attracts. Variety!
Canticle: What do you think has made AA the success it is today?
Malire : Commitment over time. Tenacity. We've been lucky in that people
have always pitched in when things got tight.
(... continued on page 11)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 11
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(... continued from page 10)
Canticle: Name a few of your favourites on AA... Favourite party of all
time, favourite monster, favourite quest, favourite area,
favourite death, favourite passtime...
Malire : Party? I only recall partying once and that was on a quest
with two others who later wizzed as well. As an alt, my party
favourites were Jim and Buff - can't say I've laughed harder
than with those guys.
Quest? Greyson's.
Area? Depends on what I want - can't really answer without
discussing quest areas :(
Favourite death? I didn't die. With an alt I went for evil
overlord as an elf mage, level 12 while wearing pretty lame
armour. That was funny until I lagged.
Pasttime? Coding, reading, researching - doing my Law job. And
there is nothing better than doing a new quest with a mortal.
I still love questing the most.
Canticle: What is your personal vision for AA? Do you believe that we
will still be around in 5 years, or even 10 years?
Malire : We'll be around. There will always be drain off for people who
need graphics, perhaps, but I think those that hang here in AA
have enough imagination to let the text take them where they
want to go. I think the mud as a whole, not just admins, colour
the ambiance that AA offers, and so far, there's nothing that
can compete with it.
Canticle: Do you have a final message for the readers of the Canticle?
Malire : Make my job easy by being honest and treating each other well. :)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 12
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-=} Health and Safety {=-
Public Service Announcement
There has been an increase recently of empty packets of parkraz littering
the streets of Tantallon. Please dispose of these packets in the garbage
bins conveniently located in most of the stores in the city.
-- AA's Tourism council
Health Tip
Smoking parkraz can be harzardous to your health. Studies have shown that
parkraz is 50% more likely to cause breathing problems in Elves then in
any other race.
Parkyholic Anonymous meets every Fifthday, 8 pm at the townhall, if you
require help to stop smoking.
-- The Orc Surgeon
A public demand
Tantallon citizens have demanded that the Ancient Anguish Tourism council
admit the existance of rogues on AA. A representative of the new movement
against crime in the city, S****, presented a list of their demands to the
Canticle, stating that they wish to be heard publically. They claim that
the sudden increase in missing coins and pipes prove their case. As further
evidence, they mention possession of an 'expired contract of protection.'
Foremost amongst their demands were that the Citizens should be warned
publically, or else a legal suit would be instituted against the Tourism
Council.
The Tourism Council was unavailable for comment.
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 13
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-=} DEVOTION {=-
You can find dozens of different religions and beliefs from the realm of
Ancient Anguish. The cleric class does not define the gods the clerics
follow at all, so it is just a labor union for priests. So far I have not
run into a Chaoser who have told me anything specific about worshipping
Chaos, but I have run into people who have told me about Antana, guardian
spirits and the Tusked One.
-- Fir, of the House of Amros
Antana
Antana is the protector of the 'Monks of Antana', and the patron of the
temple in the village of Neville, previously known as Caddia. She enjoys
nature and is offended by the destruction of natural things. She is often
depicted as a beautiful young woman with long flowing hair of gold. She
bears a limewood staff in her left hand and wears a robe of the finest
white silk.
The worshipping of Antana includes living by the 10 standards written
by Antana (with the help of the guildmasters, I believe) and regularly
confessing your sins. The collection of standards includes dont's like
killing fellow people, stealing and using foul language. It encourages
a calm, peaceful and relatively quiet life.
In return of following her laws, Antana is always there for her
worshippers to offer comfort and protection. She seldom appears to her
followers, but exists mostly in their hearts. There are evil and nasty
Monks as well.
Antana does not mind a person's "bad" alignment as long as s/he does not
rebel against her will. Her alignment seems to be neutral-good. When
asked to give a reason why to follow Antana, a Monk replied: Her purity
and goodness. And, of course, the people. Besides worshipping Antana,
you see, the Monks also enjoy the company of the like-minded. The
community seems to be a friendly one. The "natural enemy" of Antana
seems to be Chaos. The order doesn't allow necromancers to call
themselves Monks of Antana.
(... continued on page 14)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 14
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(... continued from page 13)
Guardian Spirits
The members of the Black Bear, or Bears in short, don't have an actual
god, but they have the guild shaman, Ewani, to teach them about
guardian spirits. The spirits are much like tribal totems, and
basically represent the elements and a selection of creatures: Water,
Land, Air, Hawk, Bear, Wolf and Eagle. A person can get into a contact
with his/her guardian spirit in the vision cave, where the guardian
spirit appears in a dream. One person has one guardian spirit.
In exchange of sacrificing their kills to their guardian spirit and
thus earning spiritual nirvana, the Bears receive protection and some
mystical powers that are based on the spirit's favours. By
strengthening their guardian spirit through sacrifices enough the
Bears can also gain guild titles. There are no standards or laws the
guardian spirits demand the Bears to follow, the rules inside the guild
are mostly social.
The alignment of the guardian spirits seems to be neutral. They have
no actual enemy, perhaps excluding the things that lead into the
destruction of the creatures of the wild or corrupt the elements.
The Tusked One
The Tusked One is the god of True Orcs, a god with tusks (being orcish)
and he preaches a manifesto of death, destruction, revenge and orc
supremecy. As most orcs, the god is rather straightforward: When the
walls of mist come down and the brother orcs march in from the west,
his followers will unite and slaughter all elves, humans and probably
dwarves as well and take over the lands for the orcs.
All orcs don't follow the Tusked One, and there doesn't seem to be An
Official Orc Religion any more than official human, elf or :.--._,
or dwarf religion. For the followers of the Tusked One / .:/
other orcs aren't sacred either - they have sworn to / .;'
kill the Dalairi Orcs (King Kazarov) "because they ,' .;'
are traitors who sold out and made a treaty _-' .:'
with the humans". There has been ____....--~~ _.-'
~~------+~~
(...continued on page 15)
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 15
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(... continued from page 14)
vague talk of alliance with the Scythe, but the worshipper I
talked with suspected that it would be for convenience only. :.--._,
/ .:/
The Tusked One doesn't hold non-orcs worthy followers / .;'
They shall all be eliminated and/or enslaved (in ,' .;'
any order). The alignment of the Tusked One .' .:'
seems to be evil. His natural enemies are ____....--~~ .-'
humans, elves and dwarves, for invading ~~------+~~
the land that rightfully belongs to orcs, and
also the heretic orcs who have betrayed their own kind. All
these shall be punished and the True Orcs shall rule the Realm.
[More information on the Tusked One can be found in the orc slaver camp
in the woods, or from the followers, e.g. Bunnyfoofoo or Ransome.]
_____________________________________________________________|_|_
--------------------------------------------------------------\ \
\ \
Many among us spend a good amount of time devoted to \ |
worshipping an obscure diety, or live under the iron | |
grip of an archaic despot that controls their actions, / /
their finances, and ultimately their minds. We of the |/
Scythe think that the most valuable good a sentient
being can possess is freedom. We call upon the warriors
of Ancient Anguish to come join us as brothers and
/| sisters, and to believe in ourselves, above anything
/ / or anyone else. So come check us out! Our regular
| | meeting place is not far from the main village.
| \ We ask little and offer a lot.
\ \
\_ \__________________________________________________________
|-|---------------------------------------------------------
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 16
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-=} Proposed New Toll at Crossroads!!! {=-
The Tourism Council successfully lobbied to prevent a toll at the
Tantallon Crossroads. Local businesses would have received monthly
stipends for building repairs and renovations. Part of the revenue
was slated for road maintenance.
The toll would have levied a 3 coin tax on all north-south bound
pedestrians. Lou, who refused to comment on the issue, may have
greased a few palms to prevent an east-west toll. What did some
of the local shopkeepers have to say about the toll?
Fredd, a major advocate of the toll, commented, "Ever since my
father retired, I've been trying to fix the store up. The
additional money would really help. The street outside my shop
desperately needs some serious work. I do what I can to pick up
trash and the larger stones, but I am busy selling medicinals
most of the time. Medicinals have become very popular, you know,
and my shop is the only one that sells them." Fredd went on to
mention that her shop is located at the south end of Trader Lane.
When asked about the toll, Maigyn said, "That coach ticket sign
hasn't been changed since the old woman opened up shop, and she's
been there so long, everyone has forgotten her name!"
Woolcroft, proprietor of Wedding Wares, was unconcerned. "The
toll would not affect my business at all. People will still get
married and need wedding clothing. I don't need the additional
money, as I carefully budget my income to cover expenses, as any
well-run shop should. In fact, I might use the additional money
to fund expeditions to search for Kendren's missing locket. I
feel so sorry for that girl. She's been looking for that locket
for as long as I can remember."
The half-elf, Villa, who started the campaign, was overheard to
say, "I just wanted to stir up some excitement in the town. I'm
not really all that upset it didn't go through."
For the time being, at least, it appears that no toll will plague
the visitors of Tantallon.
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 17
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-=} Dear Laggy {=-
Dear Laggy,
My husband recently entered the immoral, err, immortal realm and now all
he wants to do is CODE! He never socializes with anyone except his NPCs
anymore. I heard he even made an NPC to replace me. What should I do?
Anguished Mortal Wife
Dear Anguished Wife,
It sounds like your husband is OBSESSED! Have you talked to him about it?
Unless he realises his problem, there is no way to help him. If he realises
it but doesn't want to get help, my advice for you is to find a new husband.
Laggy
~o~
Dear Laggy,
Recently my life has consisted of mudding on Ancient Anguish and sleeping,
though mostly mudding. Sometimes I can't seem to stay awake! Am I the only
one with this problem? What can I do?
Addicted
Dear Addicted,
Ah, you are not the only one with this problem. More than half the
population of Ancient Anguish is cursed with it. It's like a disease. My
advice is to treat it like a whiteleaf addiction. Sleep less and less
every day, until eventually you can mud without interruption.
Laggy
~o~
Dear Laggy,
Recently I have been having these irrational urges to stack stones
everywhere that I go, carving my name into them. I realise that this
is not normal, but I seem to be unable to stop it!
Stone Mason
Dear Stone Mason,
Claiming your territory is a primitive (male) instinct, and as such
perfectly normal. Furthermore, the building of cairns with supplies in
them shows admirable foresight and consideration for your fellow mudders.
Please leave 1000 coins in the cairn beneath the second tree in the Park.
Laggy
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 18
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- Bear Trouble -
There has been some talk of replacing Ewani, the guild shaman of the
guild of the Black Bear, due to him being "old and grumpy" and getting
too weak to fight back raiders. He allows no cute, stuffed animals go
past him, insisting on not having any of such "nursery" stuff, but on
the other hand he often fails to keep more dangerous defilers out.
Also, Ewani has failed to train his pet bear, Growle, to behave. Word
has it that although a certain completely innocent reporter was being
awfully nice to the furry thing the other day, the monster's thanks
included having serious, physically offensive /attitude/ at the
perfectly peaceful clergyperson! And the reporter probably wasn't the
first victim, either. (Do remember to keep your wild animals in a
leash, at least in town, folks.)
--Fir, field-worker at all cost
.--. .--. The Realm of the Black Bear
: (\ ". _......_ ." /) :
'. ` ` .' The forests of Anguish is the Realm of the
/' _ _ `\ Black Bear, their home and playground. Its
/ 0} {0 \ members hold dear a spirituality about the
| / \ | land and the wilderness, and the
| /' `\ | desecration thereof is to summon _ _
\ | . .==. . | / the wrath of the Black Bear. _(_)(_)_
'._ \.' \__/ './ _.' (_).--.(_)
/ ``'._-''-_.'`` \ / \
`--` _ _ \ /
The Black Bear is open to rangers, _(_)(_)_ '--'
clerics, mages, adventurers and (_).--.(_)
fighters. / \
\ /
'--' jgs
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 19
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-=} The Top Ten Signs that you are... {=-
Eldar
10) You cannot find Duendar, and you are on a first name basis
with Pathorien.
9) You can find Duendar, and Norich has given you a season-ticket.
8) You can swim. In fact, you have 'swim w' aliased.
7) Duendar? You have never been there. Now, Duender... You've been
there. Once.
6) You know what colour the Western Mists are.
5) You know what 'smap' is.
4) Tandara has posted a smappy note because YOU wanted smap!
3) You have a dsoul for 'the toadfish one.'
2) Sightings of Ricochet are significant events, and you spread
the news widely, but noone believes you.
And the #1 sign that you are an Eldar:
1) You have issues.
-=} Late News in Brief {=-
A culinary war has broken out in the realm. This follows after claims
have been heard that the Publican's knuggets are more tasty than the
kniggets served in Misha's kitchen. The castle cook have responded
with outrage, challenging the Scythe Clan's cook to a cook-out.
This is not the first time that this debate has raged in the realm,
and it appears that it will not be the last. The Canticle asked a
few citizens of the realm for their opinion, and received many
divided opinions.
One observer ventured to say: "The cheese knigget tastes like a little
slice of heaven. The knugget, on the other hand, tastes like Zwr."
A date for the cook-out has not yet been set and the controversy
continues to rage.
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 20
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--=> Gossip <=--
A has been spotted hovering in the shadows of hobbitat pub.
B has supposedly refurnished his home entirely with marble using
the donation money.
C has been whisked off to the Copacabana for a night of passion by B.
D, the master of slackers, has actually been spotted coding!
E's elephant oughta be taken out and shot.
F and S has been exchanging sexual innuendos in public.
Spectators are still in shock.
G cooks his steak with pliers. Another G doesn't cook his steak.
H has been seen riding H all day long.
I has claimed the life of yet another dwarven explorer.
J has someone's marbles.
K finally gave birth to cuddly K junior!
L and L are having fun confusing everyone.
Big M is watching you.
N's strings is constantly being fought over.
O is a dirty old man with a silver tongue.
P is secretly believed to be a teddy bear at heart.
Q is getting bored in his hut.
Sightings of R has caused much uproar in the Eldar. Many still
refuse to believe in it.
S tells good fairy tales.
T has issues.
U also has issues.
V has been seen in his workroom crooning songs written by B.
Is he applying for a the position of tavern singer in hobbitat?
W is making a name for himself as a bard... but he's not a bard,
is he?
X and C are still looking at each other with lovesick eyes.
Y has been spotted roaming the forests near Duendar again.
Z has been hissing menacingly at random passersby.
--=> The Gossip Gurus <=--
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Volume 4.0 23 Ansmonth, 545 Page 21
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_________________________________________________________________________
| ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ___ ____ |
| The Canticle / / // / / / / / / | / |
| / / /___//____ /____ / /__ / /__ / //____ |
| / / / / / / / / / / / / / |
| / / / / / / / / / / / / / |
| /___ /___ / / ____/ ____/__/_ / __/_ /___ /____/ ____/ |
|_________________________________________________________________________|
|_________________________________________________________________________|
| | | |
| Tracker for Hire: | Wanted: | World Bitch seeks |
| Lost in the woods? | Subjects for scientific | slave. Must love a |
| Can't seem to find | experiments. | good thong snapping. |
| Tantallon? | Apply at Alton. | Submit resume at |
| Contessa Isabel, of |_________________________| the canticle office. |
| the Courts of Chaos, | |_______________________|
| is here to help. | An aspiring Paladin | |
| Send her a tell. | seeks someone to | Single green orc seek |
| Rates are reasonable. | train him in the ways | same for romance, |
| If I can't find you, | of valour and honour. | elf-beating and long |
| no one can. | Contact Smashmouth. | walks in the dump. |
| -Contessa Isabel |_________________________| --Boki |
|_______________________| |_______________________|
| A, | Overwhelmed apprentice, | |
| Come home, | looking for people to | Young talented Bard |
| All is forgiven. | code for him. Will pay | seeking rich patron. |
| Love Law | with rabid monkeys, | Minuet |
|_______________________| mail Dubanka. |_______________________|
| |_________________________| |
| Tika wishes her | | Single male elf, half-|
| fellow bears safety | Wanted: Fresh Blood. | drow, seeking female |
| in their journies and | Must be willing to die | human, elf, half-elf |
| joy in the coming | with a smile in your | for alternating |
| celebrations. | face. Meet me in the | giddiness and merci- |
|_______________________| poison ivy patch. | less slaughter of |
| | And if you see Petite, | fuzzies. Ability to |
| Join the underground | give her all your | smap a plus, as is |
| revolution! But first | money. | being a ranger. |
| you must find us. | | Mail Loranar. |
|_______________________|_________________________|_______________________|