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.. ..
.||. ||.. ...
|| || || ||.||
`|.. || || `|.. ..|'''.| '|| || '||
'|' ' .... . .... ..||.. ... ..., || ....
|| '' .|| || || || || .| ' || .|...||
'|. | .|' || || || || || || || ||
''|...'| '|..'|' ||. ||. '|..' .||. '|..| ||. '|...'
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 1 Coin
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Welcome to a new edition of the Canticle. It has been quite a while since
the last edition, we suspect Ahrell of attempted sabotage, and Constable
Picckard is on the case. ScarecraZy has been roped into the position of
copy editor, and protests that it is only temporary.
Many thanks to RiverDance, especially, and to Claire, Suze, Arabella,
Tandara, Gustav, Obiwan and Bytre, who have worked very hard and to very
short deadlines to help me put this issue of the Canticle together. Many
thanks to Buxley, Yegg, Licentious, Hawtdawg, Kataana, Tarr and Mert for
their contributions as well.
Feel free to mail any of the staff, or myself, if you have any questions,
suggestions, or comments. You can also post notes on the submission board in
our office, by the humpback bridge.
-- Thaddeus
Editor-in-Chief
The Canticle
*-----------------------------------------------------------------------------*
<*> CANTICLE INDEX <*>
---------------------------------------+---------------------------------------
Overview of 1998....................2 Horror Scopes......................10
Senate Juggling Act.................4 Dear Laggy.........................12
News Shorts.........................5 The Code of Chivalry...............14
Spotlight Feature...................6 Gossip.............................15
Travelling Advice...................7 Classifieds........................16
Canticle Voting Results.............8 Puzzles............................18
---------------------------------------+---------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: Opinions expressed in The Canticle are not necessarily those of
the editor, Law, the AA Senate, or Mothers Against Rich Greysons. Any person
regarding this material too seriously may be enthusiastically mocked.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 2
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Ancient Anguish in 1998
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1998 was a year of many game changes and growth for Ancient Anguish. A large
number of new wizard projects were introduced into the world, including:
* Adinos' underwater Pearl Diving area became accessible
* Jerusulum created two logic puzzles to mystify the mind
* Bytre helped Hanza sell Traveller's maps to aid locating interesting areas
* Scarecrazy added her first puzzle to the game
* The Combat Revision (by Paldin with help from a design committee and
approximately 40 mortal playtesters) brought new dimensions to melee
* Piper added new details to the fighter eval ability
* Katarina's horse stables were built
* Elrond added a coin toss to help determine who starts in chess
* Dristan rewrote the Gnoll Temple, updating it to current standards
* Greydeath rewrote some of the Chaos guild's characters with more depth
* Jerusulum created the puffin beach along the northern shore
* Rimmer rolled out an update to the Raven guild
* Elrond gave quite a few people a good scare on April Fools' Day
* Dristan located a sculptor to work for King Drin
* Brawn retired and his daughter renovated the Tantallon equipment shop
* Argeld reworked the Fence
* Greydeath brought the Azakath to life on Mount Kresh
* Dawg enhanced the rangers to allow them to impale corpses
* Lars became more corporeal, thanks to Elrond
* Buxley built a bridge for Alton's amusement and convenience
* Elrond introduced his little black scroll to help characters keep track
of their friends, enemies, and those who owe them money
* Elad brought Fishing Nets to Salty John's shop
* Bytre built a coach to travel to Duendar
* Paldin introduced Zhou, the weapons trainer, to the Realm
* A group of desert nomads have a quest, made possible by Larina
* Scarecrazy created yet another logic puzzle
* Elad added a kaleidoscope to the booty you could find in the sea
* The hobbitat shop got a new management team with Kosh's help
* Argeld gave Oterim some training to provide weapon advice
* Levi's brought Lanara to life to provide some history for the Eldar
* Piper introduced a second weapons trainer, Carcera, to the Realm
* A tribe of cave orcs moved to the arctic, thanks to Licentious
* A band of elves vanished searching for Sylvandor due to Tellurion's efforts
* The Tantallon body shop can change your dominant hand, thanks to Percy
* The Dalairi weapon seller got some unusual weapons from Fiend
* Puck and Arpeggio rebuilt the ladders and gave them new flexibility
* Bytre introduced scalp-buying Elinom to the Realm
* Scarecrazy created some clay to help players work on their pottery skill
* The wedding rings got some improvements, thanks to Obiwan and Buxley
* Dawg wrote the "help lawfaq" document to help explain legal issues
* Piper improved the rogue Alert ability
* Gaius, with some editorial help from Zan, wrote a book on the Kequa
* Obiwan created a guide to hobbits and hobbitat
* Buxley created the Lost and Found office in the Tantallon Town Hall
* Paldin rolled out the Mortal Council, a system for helping mortal
representatives test new areas and rebalance old areas and classes
... continued on page 3
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 3
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The following four projects were completed as part of larger projects, and
should be seen in 1999:
* Edog created a greeting card business for a yet-to-open area
* Shandy created some history books for a yet-to-open area
* Shandy created a gift shop for a yet-to-open area
* Adinos created a storyteller for a yet-to-open area
Additionally, there were a large number of fixes and small enhancements
added to the game by a great number of wizards, including (but not limited
to) Kosh, Oakram, Bytre, Katarina, Percy, Buxley, Elfling, Orderchaos,
Scarecrazy, Zan, Redwolf, Levi, Ronin, Piper, Arpeggio, and Paldin.
In 1998, fifty nine mortals made the jump from mortality to apprentice
wizardhood, including:
Darby, Lilac, Xamayca, Haplo, Yegg, Amathera, Viento, Aramis, Mythmaker,
Wyntre, Magnetic, Ergot, Thelonius, Fionn, Ambrosia, Kainen, Mickie,
Venture, Janus, Evermist, Fiend, Quiet, Stigmata, Silverghost, Llanfear,
Ravager, Remorse, Puccini, Thandiwe, Recluse, Sudian, Almanegra, Gneiss,
Taal, Mrkip, Iop, Ciaron, Mambo, Oakram, Kasmune, Grinrom, Muzzzy,
Ebenezeer, Isshade, Idul, Bladex, Noraic, Ghurmuzh/Laperd, Skimmer,
Maninthebox, Celyia, Warbird, Kitarro, Kezzia, Psycog, Kazak, Tamaryn,
Lykos, and Dizzy.
Of the class of 1998, approximately 8% are no longer with us, 27% chose to
become mortal again, 29% are apprentice wizards, and 36% are full level 500
Wizards.
There were also seven promotions of full Wizards to Creators in 1998. Among
these respected ranks you will find: Adinos, Jerusulum, Katarina, Dristan,
Greydeath, Licentious, and Tellurion.
We also had three Senior Wizards appointed in 1998. Elrond, Buxley, and
Redwolf. These Senior Wizards have all distinguished themselves through
their considerable contributions to Ancient Anguish.
There were some new Arch Wizards appointed in 1998 as well. In April,
Paldin was appointed Arch of Law. In December, Arpeggio took over the
Archship of Law. In October, Jerusulum became the Arch of a newly created
position in Ancient Anguish, the Department of Education.
Two members retired from the Senate, Aisha and Flint.
Enough about Wizards! What about mortals??
Over the course of 1998, there were over one million character logins to
Ancient Anguish. We averaged approximately 92 new characters per day. The
average character logs in about 2.6 times per day. There was an average of
92 new characters created every day, or about 33,708 new characters for the
year of 1998. There were 1508 suicides in 1998, and approximately 30,000
characters were removed due to purges. I will not attempt to list the names
of the abovementioned players. :) The Ancient Anguish population tends
to flux between 10,000 and 14,000 characters at any one time.
Many new mortals rose to new positions on the top players list as older
players fell down. New forms of player development and competition are sure
to take off next year as different types of top player competition are
tracked and introduced.
-- Bytre, on behalf of the AA Senate
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 4
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SENATE JUGGLING ACT - Coming soon to a town near you!
Over the past few months some changes have taken place amongst the
admins that govern Ancient Anguish. Paldin has resigned from Law,
turning his full attention to Balance. ArpeggiO has taken over the
duties of Law arch, and while some concern has been expressed about
arches doing double and triple duty, the Senate is confident of his
juggling abilities. We wish him all the best for this very tough job.
Flint, after years of dedication to AA, has retired from the senate.
After long and enthusiastic service, Aisha has stepped down from her
position as Senator of Education, and Jerusulum has been selected to
serve as our first Arch of Education. Buxley has been entrusted with
the position of Arch of World and Map, replacing Sully, who retired
after repeated attacks by Ahrell. Her service as Arch of World and Map
has been outstanding, and she will be sorely missed.
_____________________________________________________________________
| __________________ |
| \ooo . |^ ^ ^\ If you often find yourself wandering in |
| \ooo . \ ^ ^ \ circles in the forest, let us end your |
| \ooo_ . _ |_^ ^\ troubles. At Hanza's Map Shop, we have |
| /ooo . /^ ^ / a fine variety of maps that would suit |
| /ooo . / ^ ^/ any adventurers' needs. We even have |
| /.._..x _ /^_ ^^ / a mapkit for those newbies who prefer |
| \ _ . | ^ ^\ to do their own cartography. Visit us |
| \ |\ . \ ^ ^ \ at our Tantallon Trader Lane location. |
| \ N . | ^ ^\ -- HANZA'S MAPS -- |
| \__________|______\ "We're the best since Drake!" |
| |
|_____________________________________________________________________|
______________________________________________________________________
|
DEVOTION | WEATHER REPORT
|
Brave adventurers returning from the utmost | Extensive thunder-
west has reported news of a devastating plague | showers are expected
sweeping through villages and the countryside. | over most of the
The Clerics' Common Church has issued a warning | interior at night,
to adventurers to take all possible precautions. | clearing up towards
Several severely ill would-be looters had died | morning. Magical
under their care, muttering tales of fantastic | activity in the
riches, and evil curses. The Church advises | southern Claw M.s
that everyone should guard against the tempta- | continue to disrupt
tion of worldly goods, and pray for the souls | weather patterns.
of the departed, may Lars have mercy on them. | -- Rickety Ranger
_________________________________________________|____________________
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 5
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WHO IS AHRELL?
Over the past few months there has been several reports of a new,
most vile and vicious entity -- Ahrell. It is unknown whether Ahrell
is a demon, rivalling Lars, or an undiscovered country.
A number of Knights have been charged by King Drin to venture forth,
and discover the truth about this matter, so that steps may be taken
to guard against this terrible danger. This follows the return of
Laperd after an encounter with this entity and the incoherent stories
that he has been heard to whisper hoarsely, while shivering fearfully.
ZARKAN STIFLES COMPETITION
In an unexpected move, Court Magician Zarkan has objected most
strenuously to the casting of spells in the castle. It is suspected
that Zarkan's unreasonable ban on spellcasting may have something to
do with the as yet unexplained and mysterious fire that almost burned
down the Knights' donations racks.
SCYTHE PLOT UNCOVERED!
Prince Argeld has discovered a huge heap of trash south of Tantallon,
near the Scythe Camp, and the question has to be asked: is this where
Sully disappeared to?
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
MEN! Tired of getting sand kicked in your face at Wide, sandy beach (s,w)?
WOMEN! Tired of being sexually harassed by those male orc Scyther pigs?
NEUTERS! Tired of listening to taunts for not having a definitive gender?
.-_-_-_-. Two weeks at Trough's Training Academy and you never need feel
| | inferior again! From the moment you enter after reboot, to the
| | | | |\ instant you leave before going to sleep, you will take comfort
|_|_|_|_|/ in the fact that you are prepared to enter combat at a moment's
\/ notice! Inquire at the Academy at the south harbour in Cardia.
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 6
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IS TRIVIA PINING AWAY FOR GREYSON?
Reports have been received that Trivia is hovering on the brink
of a nervous breakdown. According to our inside sources at a Dwarven
Clinic in the scenic Claw Mountains, Trivia is being treated for
exhaustion, and manic confusion. At a press conference last night,
officials refused to confirm or deny the rumours that Trivia had
snapped.
Rumours of Trivia's ill health has come as no surprise to the
Tantallon public. She has long been observed to be moody, laggardly
in answering guesses, and worse - she has been reusing questions!
A repeated barrage of NHL, NBA and NFL questions is generally
believed to have contributed to Trivia's dementia. Trivia has been
overheard muttering that if she ever hears another TLA she will take
a Louisville Slugger and 'blast them all to Ahrell!'
Trivia's primary complaint seems to be chronic exhaustion. 'Day
and night, day in and day out!' She was reported to yell at the
nurses, before she broke down and cried. Her sister Stars, and her
brother Yahtzee, was unavailable for comment.
Concerns about Trivia's health has been foremost on the minds of
the senate. Piper has been heard to mutter that the poor girl needs
some rest, and promising dire consequences to the wizards in whose
employ she stands.
------------------------------------------
| XXXX XXX XXXX XXX XXX X XXX |
| X X X X X X X X X X |
| XX XXX XX X X X X XX |
| X X X X X X X X X |
| X X X XXXX XXX XXX XXX |
| |
| E Q U I P M E N T S H O P |
| |
| Now under new management, Fredd's |
| Equipment Shop, conveniently located |
| right here in Tantallon, is now open |
| for all your adventuring needs. |
| Armour? Weapons? Medicinals? |
| We've got it all! |
| |
| Voted "Best Shop for Newbies" for six |
| years running by the Ancient Anguish |
| Tourism Council. |
------------------------------------------
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 7
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Be Careful What Ye Do in a Boat!
-- by Marcus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aye, it is easy to get into trouble if ye rent a boat from me and
don't know what to do with it. For instance, read this excerpt
from a tattered log, that I found drifting in an abandoned rowboat:
Day 1:
Well, I'm going to do it. That two-bit thief Hazelwood thinks
he can keep the location of SE isle a mystery to us. But if I can
find it, I can start my own business and get a part in the lucrative
Tantallon boat subsidies.
I've got all the necessary supplies, now, for my trip. I'm eager
to be off, though, as Pooch mistook Dermott's leg for... uh oh, here
he comes!
Day 2:
Well, I've been out to sea for a day now. I've been following
what I think is Hazelwood's route. Boy, it's slow going in this craft.
Pooch just sits there, looking stupid and licking at the air. I hope
to make a few dozen more stadia before I rest for the night.
Day 3:
Making plenty of time today, but I had to stop in the afternoon.
The sun was just too bright. I plan on making the time up at night.
I've seen plenty of dark shapes swimming in the water, but Pooch
keeps scaring them away before I can get my line out. If this keeps
up, I may run into food problems. I have enough water to last a long
while, but I had planned on fishing to supplement my diet.
Day 4:
Pooch wouldn't stop barking today. He must be sensing something,
it really isn't like him. But it was pretty annoying nonetheless.
That and the sun gave me a pounding headache today. I am thinking
about making a hat out of my shirt, but I need it when it cools off
at night.
I got a little further. The winds seem different, so I'm hoping
I'm near another body of land.
...continued on page 9
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 8
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YOUR OPINION MATTERS.
Over the past few months AAers have been asked to cast their vote
on several topics, ranging from their opinion on the new combat system
to what they think of Trivia and Stars. Here, without further ado, are
the results!
"New combat" was installed a few months ago, and let's finally see
what the mortal opinion is... 3 out of 4 mortals like the new combat
system. A whopping 74.9% of players enjoy the new system, while 14.4%
would like to see the old system restored. 11 and 2/10ths of players
remain undecided.
Piper once again wins the "Scariest Administrator" award, with a
record breaking 17 votes. Arpeggio is a distant second with 8, and
Flint and Paldin followed with 7 a piece. Confused mortals also voted
for Malire, Obiwan and Edog as scary.
Speaking of Malire, Obiwan and Edog, those wizards are the three
winners of "Favourite Law Enforcer", but not in that order. Edog
takes the cake with 16 votes, while Obiwan and Malire followed close
behind with 15 votes each. Paldin, ex-law arch, finished with 13
votes. Stray votes went to Brog, Drynwyn, and perennial runner-up,
Ricky Schroeder. Of course, there were a number of votes for
"Law sucks."
On the lighter side of things, 4 out of 5 adventurers find Trivia
sexier than Stars. Also, the amount of players who use Brief mode is
slightly lower than those who play with Verbose mode.
The best coded area recevied such a wide array of results, which
proves that this is one of the best coded MUDs around. Some of the
more frequent votes were: Drute's Tomb, by Buxley, the Dragon's
Playground, by Malire, Piper's Alton, Dawg's orcish town of Dalair,
Puffin beach, by Jerusulum, and Amante's Burnham Woods.
The most embarrasing death also received a huge amount of differing
votes. Some good answers included Dandy in the fairy ring, the
librarian, and Rover. Some unknown wizard cast his or her vote for
the most embarrasing death to an NPC as "Any that I coded. =P"
Favourite armour was basically limited to fine platemail, golden
fieldplate, Star Armour and guilded full platemail. Ironman's elven
jacket received a large number of votes, as well.
It seems that each vote for favourite weapon was different.
Everything from Bloodred to Crossbow to Mace of Crushing had a vote.
If its powerful, someone voted for it. Bibblemang and the good ol'
pea-shooter also appeared in the ballot box.
"What weapon would you most want to see coded?" is the final
question we asked you. This also received a huge variety of responses.
An aluminum baseball bat, slingshots, "Archslayer, the toothpick", and
the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch were all appeared in the results.
Of course, it is very unlikely that the "Staff of Eternal Pleasure"
will be approved by Balance and QC anytime soon.
-- Anonymous Canticle Reporter.
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 9
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Travelling advice, continued from page 7...
Day 5:
I tried yelling at Pooch. But he just started up again. All night
he had been barking. Woof, woof, woof. Enough to drive someone crazy.
I made that hat out of my shirt. I should be able to row during
the day again. I'll stay warm tonight in my new fur blanket.
I won't have to think about fishing for a while, either.
Day 6:
I think I've found it! It's just a speck on the horizon, but it is
unmistakeably SE isle! I watched the sun set beyond the high point of
the island. It was beautiful.
Day 7:
Well, I rowed all day, but the current seems to be against me. For
some reason I can't go that way. It's frustrating. So close, and yet
so far.
Day 8:
My meat has run out. All that rowing made me hungry, I wolfed it
down in one bite. I wish Pooch was still here...maybe if he kicked
alongside the boat, I could make it. I'll stop for today, and see
what I can get to bite.
Day 9:
Nothing is biting. All the fish seem to vanish when I get near...
I keep imagining I see something lurking down in the depths, but I
can't be sure. It looks too big to be a fish.
Day 10:
I'm very hungry. Nothing even comes near my pole! I ate all the
bait, but it didn't seem to help, much, anyway.
What am I supposed to do? I have come too far to go back. Besides,
I ate the map. It looked like there was a lot more meat on that
parchment that there was. Besides, the currents all seem against me.
I can't seem to get anywhere. It's frustrating. My shelter will
probably fall apart before I ever get back to Tantallon. If I get back.
...continued on page 11
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 10
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= Oninle is the Lady of the Stars. She reads the moons, the suns, the -
- stars, and then glimpses at the sky to find the truth regarding YOUR =
= future during each period. -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The Ancient Anguish Horror Scope
_________________
Month 1: Ansmonth - Sign: Candle Flame
Continue working at your weapons skills and you will be rewarded
(have realistic expectations). You'll find some much needed romantic
attention. Be sure to make your feelings known however, if you are
confronted by someone with feelings that are unrequited.
Month 2: Fearmonth - Sign: Mighty Dragon
Someone you have been depending on will let you down hard. You
should prepare yourself and try to not make any swift judgements. You
will find more free time to relax and wander the countryside. Spend it
exploring unknown areas.
Month 3: Moonset Sign: Grey Werewolf
Your reputation preceeds you; although you are perhaps unaware of
this. You will encounter some exciting places if you schedule your
time carefully. You find a tempting opportunity to increase your money
or experience.
Month 4: Evensend Sign: Swooping Hawk
You are more likely to be prey to bad decisions, rogues, lag, or
even death this season due to your focus on matters of the heart. You
will be tempted to doubt yourself and to take shortcuts that will hurt
you. Keep your head up and you will see the brighest future faces you
because you are stronger than you know.
Month 5: Tuulneas Sign: Refreshing Spirit
You will come across a matter of vital importance to you, which
will be more difficult to handle than you anticipate. You can expect
adventures that are unusual. You will make a mistake that seems
terrible to you; but is unseen to others. Remember to laugh and
you'll find the situation much easier to handle.
Month 6: Stormmonth Sign: Fierce Thunder
Whether or not you enjoy this season depends solely on your
attitude. You will be faced with someone you know making a decision
that you consider hasty; but don't be too hard on them. You should
remember to respect others' need for solitude and silence.
... continued on page 13
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 11
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Travelling advice, continued from page 9...
Day 17:
It's been a week. I've been gnawing on everything in sight. I keep
seeing that strange shape down in the depths...I wonder if I could
catch it? But I don't have nearly enough line...perhaps if I unravel
my shirt, and weave it in. Knew that weaving skill would come in handy
eventually.
Day 18:
I think I've got it! I let my line far, far down, and let the
creature move right into it. It took the bait. Pooch didn't need
his collar anymore, anyway. It was tough to pull in, at first, but
I think I'm sapping its strength. I sure am glad I decided to get
the sea pole...any cheaper pole would surely have broken by now.
Day 21:
I've managed to pull in a few dozen cubits of line, over the past
few days. I can see a clearer outline of my meal. It is huge! I
won't go hungry for a long time. Right now that's all that's keeping
me from going over the edge.
Day 24:
...closer now. The thing is a leviathan. It's easily 5 times bigger
than the boat. I don't know what I'm going to do with all the meat.
Day 25:
I'm almost there! I can make out the color of its eyes, now.
They're enormous. I've tied the rope off for the night. Tomorrow,
I'm make the final pull and get this thing on the surface. Then it'll
be dinner time!
__________________
\ooo . |^ ^ ^\ If you often find yourself wandering in
\ooo . \ ^ ^ \ circles in the forest, let us end your
\ooo_ . _ |_^ ^\ troubles. At Hanza's Map Shop, we have
/ooo . /^ ^ / a fine variety of maps that would suit
/ooo . / ^ ^/ any adventurers' needs. We even have
/.._..x _ /^_ ^^ / a mapkit for those newbies who prefer to
\ _ . | ^ ^\ do their own cartography. Visit us at
\ |\ . \ ^ ^ \ our Tantallon Trader Lane location.
\ N . | ^ ^\ -- HANZA'S MAPS --
\__________|______\ "We're the best since Drake!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 12
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-=*=-
Dear Laggy
-=*=-
Laggy, our advice-columnist, gives our readers answers to those
niggling questions. Mail Laggy at the Post Office if you need
advice. All correspondence will be confidential.
-=*=-
Dear Laggy,
My fiancee' wants to serve alcohol at our wedding that is coming up
very soon. I don't really mind; but he tends to drink a little more
than his fair share. I don't want him stumbling around in our ceremony
or until well after the reception. Any ideas?
-- Worried Wife-To-Be
Dear Wife-To-Be,
Don't set your fears aside. Talk to him and tell him that you are
trying to be practical, that you agree to serve alcohol if he agrees
to a limit that you set. The first step to a good marriage is
compromise.
That, and a good honeymoon. ;)
Signed,
Laggy
-=*=-
Dear Laggy,
Where can I find information on new and old areas, I don't want to
seem like the newbie I am. Help! What can I do?
-- Newbie
Dear Newbie,
All of us were newbies once. Sometimes your fellow players are a
good source of information. However, the best place to start is in the
"help newbie" and "help newbie2" files that can be accessed by typing
the phrases (without quotes). These files are a foundation for playing
AA. Another recommended file is "help rules" and "help law" which will
assure you of the best ways to get into trouble, and yourself banished.
Third would be a stop to the library in Tantallon. Last but not least,
check out the CX where you can earn money, a bit of experience up to a
point, and learn where certain 'hot spots' in the game are. Good luck
and remember, suicide and quit should only be typed if you REALLY mean
it! Trust me.
Signed,
Laggy
-=*=-
Dear Laggy,
I want to get the perfect gift but I have no idea what to get the
person who has everything. Any ideas?
-- Need Gift Ideas
Dear Need Gift Ideas,
Money, money, money for those who love to purchase things but seem
to already have it all. Flowers should be reserved for when you've
done something really bad. And then you'll need lots and lots of
flowers. Good luck.
Signed,
Laggy
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 13
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Ancient Anguish Horror Scopes, continued from page 10...
Month 7: Waterhaze Sign: Rainbow Trout
Your class and wealth are first priority for you this season.
You are finally paid a compliment which you have worked extremly hard
for. Someone you know will need some advice and ideas, and your
attitude makes for more of a difference than you realize. You will
stun your class or guild-members with a brilliant idea.
Month 8: Virrsmonth Sign: Crossed Swords
You will find yourself caught in the middle of a nasty argument,
try to maintain neutral ground. A project you have been working on
diligently will go awry; so you should focus on something new. You
will find that this is a creative period for you; so try some questing.
You can take your chances with love this season as the stars say you
have nothing to lose.
Month 9: Harvestmonth Sign: Golden Wheat
You will find yourself being asked for your input by someone of
greater power or influence than you. Use this power justly, and not
out of anger or revenge. You should try some new strategies, including
exploring more of the realm. You will encounter a stranger with a
quite unique offer for you.
Month 10: Nethory Sign: Whispering Pine
Your bank account will overflow thanks to a change in the
stocks; treat yourself and then stash the rest away. You may be
tempted to overlook the luck you will have this season if you focus
on your money, though. You will encounter a chance to impress
someone of great influence.
Month 11: Okeyeteen Sign: Brisk Wind
Both love and fortune are in your future this season if you
allow yourself to take risks. Your self-confidence is on the upswing.
You will find that your weapon skills increase faster than you are
usually accustomed. A close friend may seem distant.
Month 12: Icemonth Sign: Arctic Fox
This is YOUR season fox. You find yourself organized and
motivated for questing, exloring, and killing. You are admired for
your energy, loyalty, honesty, and sense of humor; but some find
you a bit intimidating. You will accomplish anything you set your
mind to this season.
_________________
How to use the Horrorscope:
Pick the month that you first started to play and that is
considered the month of your birth. If you first started to play
in August of 1996, then your birth month is August, which is
Ancient Anguish times converts to Virrsmonth and the sign of
that month is the Crossed Swords. Have fun !
_________________
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 14
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The Knight Commandments
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1. Thou shalt salute General Dale whenever he logs in, and not faint
in astonishment.
1a. When thy Elder Mortals enter the game, thou shalt snap to attention,
salute smartly, then whap them upside the head with thy pink elephant.
1b. Thou shalt ttackle TheBeast and any character bearing a suspicious
resemblance to him, whenever they enter the game.
2. Thou shalt sell opened Knight packs after reboot and make a sizeable
profit.
3. Thou shalt whine and complain bitterly at every possible opportunity
regarding any or all of the following topics: Stolen earbags, nothing
good in the racks and the inability to find Tantallon from the Crossroads.
3a. Thou shalt not let a week pass without posting an obnoxious note on
the board regarding the racks.
4. Thou shalt use the booth in the den for sleeping, necking, and
talking, especially when others are in there trying to read or post.
4a. Thou shalt not sit on the chair in the booth, as it is reserved
solely for Undeadguy.
5. Thou shalt guard thy earbag with zeal and triggers. Thou shalt wave
thine earbag under the nose of a rogue, then whine bitterly when it is
stolen.
5b. Thou shalt accept bribes from rogues, and post a bounty regardless.
6. Thou shalt curse soundly after breaking thy nose on the oak door in
the castle. Furthermore, thou shalt smash the oak door with all thy
might, then smash it again for good luck.
7. Thou shalt give the balmed corpses of Maleficio and Salome to
Queen Alisha for safekeeping.
8. Thou shalt not harrass thy King by entering his Hall of Audience and
talking about orcs incessantly. Thou shalt not mention the Scythe either.
-- More Suggestions by an Anonymous Nobleman.
-------------------------------------------------------
| ---<---<@ ~ The Flower Shop ~ ---<---<@ |
| |
| We have a wide assortment of beautiful, fragrant |
| flowers, a nice present for that special someone. |
| A card comes with each flower, to convey the |
| message that will mean so much. |
| |
| Come and see for yourself. The prices are very |
| reasonable. We are located just opposite south |
| of Ancient Bliss Inn in Nepeth. |
| |
| *->- The flower girls |
-------------------------------------------------------
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 15
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--=> Gossip <=--
A ran off with S's pants, leaving him in quite a bind!
B has a voluptuous body - for a toadfish. Another B has enough shovels
to last a lifetime, now. Also, Prince B was recently spotted near
the Taverna in Dalair... He was quoted as saying "Do you feel lucky,
orcish punk?!"
C was seen whipping P until he cried "Uncle!"
D seems to be incredibly fascinated with his knee. Could it be from
running headfirst into all of those walls?
E, seeking the best, came to me.
F really IS a duck!
G reigns as the number one Chaos channel tagger!
H has proven time and time again to be the most annoying knigget...
No, we DON'T want to see your amulet again. No matter how impressive.
I passes out the best cocoa, hands down!
J constantly complains of the E guild talking like cats in heat!
K remembers the LL with a certain fondness...
L mysteriously returned after two years of absence. Congrats on the
early parole!
Many among us spend a good amount of time devoted to \ |
worshipping an obscure diety, or live under the iron | |
grip of an archaic despot that controls their actions, / /
their finances, and ultimately their minds. We of the |/
Scythe think that the most valuable good a sentient
being can possess is freedom. We call upon the warriors
of Ancient Anguish to come join us as brothers and
/| sisters, and to believe in ourselves, above anything
/ / or anyone else. So come check us out! Our regular
| | meeting place is not far from the main village.
| \ We ask little and offer a lot.
\ \
\_ \__________________________________________________________
|-|---------------------------------------------------------
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 16
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_________________________________________________________________________
| ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ___ ____ |
| The Canticle / / // / / / / / / | / |
| / / /___//____ /____ / /__ / /__ / //____ |
| / / / / / / / / / / / / / |
| / / / / / / / / / / / / / |
| /___ /___ / / ____/ ____/__/_ / __/_ /___ /____/ ____/ |
|_________________________________________________________________________|
|_________________________________________________________________________|
| | | |
| Ever wish you could | WANTED: Some quiet in | Have YOUR opinion |
| have a say-so? Want | the library. Allow | notes: Post messages |
| your opinion know? | others some peace to | today on the Canticle |
| Want to give input? | focus on their studies. | bulletin board, con- |
| Submit articles to the| Webster accepts tells, | veniently located in |
| Canticle - we publish | you know. | the Canticle Offices, |
| for free! | Ook, | just outside town. |
| -- Thaddeus | Tantallon Librarian. | -- Erin |
|_______________________| PS - I am NOT a monkey. |_______________________|
| |_________________________| |
|Sick of the human race?| | Are you stuck in the |
| Help a desperate orc | SWO, 37, look for feamal| same old adventuring |
| rid her family of a | orc who near me age. Me | rut? Looking for some |
| human leech! Come up | very hairy and dirty. | excitement? Look no |
| north, where the air | Me beat up more things | further! Gaius will be|
| is clean, and visit | than most orcs. Me want | glad to offer you some|
| the Cave Orcs. Sculpt | orc wuman with pretty | advice to aid you in |
| a model of your loved | stooped posture. If you | your exploration of |
| on in the snow! | smarter orc than average| the realm. Ask for a |
| Disclaimer: Coder not | you no apply. We have | hint today! Available |
| responsible for frost-| fun in Da Lair, and beet| at all hours in a |
| bite injuries. | hu-mans up. | library near you! |
|_______________________|_________________________|_______________________|
| | | |
| Abby, I am holding | ERIN FOR EDITOR! ERIN | FOR SALE: The original|
| your magic markers for| FOR EDITOR! END THE UN- | bottle of Primus' |
| ransom! Stop questing | REWARDED SLAVERY! | Famous Magic Brew. |
| right NOW! |_________________________| Aged to perfection. |
| -- An Anonymous Knight| | 500 gold coins, ono. |
|_______________________| WANTED: Guild Stories. | Contact Large Squid. |
| | See Aisha for details. |_______________________|
|LOST: A fine platemail,|_________________________| |
| near Drute's Tomb. | | Do you consider your- |
| May be located near a | Lonely master mage wants| self an upstanding |
| fierce wolverine. If | lifetime companion to | warrior? Do you like |
| found, please return | spend quiet days and | to keep the peace, and|
| to the Lost and Found | relaxing nights in se- | make good money doing |
| Office in Tantallon. | cluded, well guarded | it? If the answer is |
|_______________________| estate. Have a loving | yes, then contact Brog|
| | pet Hook Horror and | about a job in the |
| WANTED: Couriers to | personal bodyguards. | Bounty Hunter field. |
| make deliveries, small| -- Alton wants to be | Work your own hours, |
| packages. Intercity | YOUR sweetie. | track nasty and wanted|
| and local routes |_________________________| criminals, and be |
| available. Contact | | announced to the |
| Lou in the Commodities| Ranger Knight looking | adoring public when |
| Exchange, in the | for xbow. Standing | you bring one of these|
| harbour. Be advised of| offer of 20K. | fugitives to justice. |
| the terms of employ- | | Don't wait! Send a |
| ment, before applying.| See Valkyria. | tell today! |
|_______________________|_________________________|_______________________|
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 17
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_________________________________________________________________________
| ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ___ ____ |
| The Canticle / / // / / / / / / | / |
| / / /___//____ /____ / /__ / /__ / //____ |
| / / / / / / / / / / / / / |
| / / / / / / / / / / / / / |
| /___ /___ / / ____/ ____/__/_ / __/_ /___ /____/ ____/ |
|_________________________________________________________________________|
|_________________________________________________________________________|
| | | |
| Free pamphlet on How | Can we have some quiet | Anonymous Prince look-|
| to Prepare Lobster. | in the den, please? I'm | ing for a royal woman |
| Tips on cooking, | trying to think. | to wed to please his |
| catching, and serving | -- Zarkan | father's wishes. Look-|
| this fine seafood dish|_________________________| ing for someone quiet,|
| Send self-addressed, | | beautiful, and open to|
| stamped envelope to | Reward offered: 10 000 | try new things and |
| Gustav, c/o IMS Mail | Solid Gold Coins for any| ideas. Elegance is a |
| Service, Tantallon | Bounty Hunter's head. | must. Strictly a mar- |
|_______________________|_________________________| riage of convience, no|
| | | strings attached and |
| Paladin Soup Kitchen | -=> FREDD's <=- | you will have riches |
| needs help urgently. | -=> EQUIPMENT SHOP <=- | at your fingertips. |
| Over 3000 poor or | Quality equipment for | Contact Zarkan. |
| hungry people served/ | newbies, the fairest |_______________________|
| week, with the | prices in the realm. | |
| generous help of |_________________________| Knights -- We've got |
| others. | | the General. Mostly |
|_______________________| MISSING: General Dale. | intact. Leave Drin's |
| | Substantial reward for | crown in the treehut, |
| Anyone looking for | news of his whereabouts | and we can negotiate. |
| SMAP? Please join the | offered. | -- Anonymous Scythers |
| Eldar and you will be | -- The Knights of Drin |_______________________|
| overjoyed with it! |_________________________| |
|_______________________| | Do you love the great |
| | Single Fighter Female | outdoors? Do you enjoy|
| Just received! A new | looking for a Single | making things with |
| shipment of friendship| Fighter Male who likes | your own bare hands? |
| necklaces. Just the | arm-wrestling, weapon | Well, then, the |
| thing for keeping in | shows, and pounding | rangers is the class |
| touch with your best | Razar into a pulp. | for you! Make loads of|
| friends! Also in | Contact the Canticle | money, make a new |
| stock: signature | for more details. | furry best friend, |
| books, black scrolls, |_________________________| and best of all, you |
| and compasses. | can charge outrageous prices for bedrolls when |
| Visit MAIGYN's magic | when they are in high demand. See the Old Scout |
| shop today! | in the northern forest for more details. |
|_______________________|_________________________________________________|
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Volume 3.0 Stormmonth 8, 539 Page 18
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*** PUZZLES ***
*** NAME THAT NPC SEARCH-A-WORD ***
The Serving Wench (5 letters) N A M R I L Z A
The Master Mage (5 letters) T L I K N P O L
Map Shop Owner (5 letters) F I S B B I D G
Fishmonger (7 letters) O S H P A D R R
Eldar NPC (6 letters) R H A J C E T E
Mrs. Trueheart (6 letters) C A I L B R O G
Law Receptionist (5 letters) L B V T T M H D
Bounty Clerk (4 letters) O M I L I O A U
Wedding Shop Owner (9 letters) O K R Z U T N R
Tantallon Bartender (6 letters) W I T E Q T Z D
The Gameswoman (6 letters) F B A Q M P A Z
Canticle Clerk (4 letters) Z O E A N D H E
*** UNSCRAMBLE THEIR NAMES ***
Jumble: Hint:
1. POKEMBOR Slavedriver exploits newbies and hapless beggars.
2. LUSUMUREJ Slavedriver exploits newbie wizards and staff.
3. RATKO Searches the realm on behalf of Gilbert.
4. KSCNAR Mountaineering rogue, fallen in with brigands.
5. YELUXB Newbie Senator.
6. ETRYB Has enough shovels to last him a lifetime.
7. RECAY Has a thing for Zorgon.
8. HARA Chojin's law buddy.
9. REDLINA Architect.
10. CPICKDRA A faithful constable.
11. AREARCC Grouchy weapons trainer.
12. RADHAL Forgetful guardian of equipment left in his care.
13. TASI She's got a very seductive voice.
14. ZETLITE Jackie cannot forget his lovely wife.
15. IVAIRT ... is sexier than Stars!