I got home with my find quickly, closed the door and finally let the shock break out: the book was in orcish! It was written text, and it was orcish. Very few people know the written language, and I myself have only the faintest knowledge of it, at that moment just enough to recognize something to be written in orcish. But this wasn't just orc speech written in sapient, sorry, I mean other humanoid languages, this was orcish 'bokmal', by the gods. Probably from the legendary times of orc civilization, or remains of it.
My speculations were proven to be rather true. After a long and hard search I managed to find a wise and old sage who was able to help me start to translate the tome. The title, Bloody Book of Behaviour, is a free translation, as is most of the following text as well. The book is an ancient code of etiquette for orcs, post-civilization time if my sources are to be believed. It wasn't written by an ancient, sapient orc, however, although the author was a genius on orc standards nowadays. Rumour has it that the orc who wrote the rules down had gained his/her level of wisdom by slaughtering and eating countless scribes, sages and shamans, thus being able to know how to write. On the other hand, s/he may have been imprisoned for quite a while for some reason, I cannot find any other reason for the sudden patience to write down anything this important.
Later on, I found out that the book was stolen from a library. I didn't know it at the moment when I bought it, and I had never heard of such a book existing. I would like to return it to its rightful owners, and if you happen to know which library is missing an orcish etiquette book, do let me know. Very well, I have babbled enough. I dedicate this translation to Grunthex, who was of very little or no help with my work. His stubborn demands for a mauve shrubbery (yes, a singular shrubbery that could not be a shrub) as reward for answering some simple questions drove me insane. However, without the grumpy old orc's stories about civilized orcs, true or not, I probably never would have interested in their culture today enough to know even that little bit of orcish bokmal I do now.
Oh, yeah, and he pointed out that the book was written on dwarf-hide. I never would have guessed. And the cover being made of multi-layer tanned elf-skin... I'm not sure if I wanted to know, but thank you anyway.
*) "Only thing worse than dying is dying to pansy elf." (Silentdeath)
Besides these, many orcs tend to teach their children the "basik rule of being baby: don't eat your own doo doo and that yellow stuff that comes out between your legs ISN'T apple juice." Unfortunately, this is often the only rule the parents remember to pass on to their offspring.
(From an interview with Disdain.)
On one hand, it's so hard it's almost impossible, on the other hand, it's almost too simple. Why do these people admire strength and bravery, fearlessness and quick killing? The answer seems obvious enough: those are survival skills. But what about never showing mercy or allowing oneself to be dominated? Some kind of cruel anarchy?
But let us think that you wish to cope with this race. Although orcs, as well as other races, are all individuals, I dare say that calling one of them "fairy lover" or "elfboy" gets you bashed. On the other hand, I hear that pointing out how rotten their tusks are getting, how their breath smells and admiring their back hair aloud might do you good.
Of interest: The Scythe