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.||. ||.. ...
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`|.. || || `|.. ..|'''.| '|| || '||
'|' ' .... . .... ..||.. ... ..., || ....
|| '' .|| || || || || .| ' || .|...||
'|. | .|' || || || || || || || ||
''|...'| '|..'|' ||. ||. '|..' .||. '|..| ||. '|...'
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 1 Coin
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Greetings, dear readers, and welcome to a new issue of the Canticle. It
has been a while! I recently returned from my travels and decided to settle
down again in Tantallon, but when I came to visit the offices, Erin told me
that Thaddeus had been gone for several years already. He had left with a
messenger one day, promising to return, but had not been heard of since.
Due to the unusual situation I have taken over as Acting Editor for the
moment so we can return to a relatively regular publication cycle.
In this paper, we have four interviews in two different styles. Let us know
what you think on the Canticle Offices Suggestions board! Theryn has also
compiled some voting results from our long-running polls. There are many
news to catch up with, but we have left out the usual Mortal Council
update. The Mortal Council has been disbanded due to low interest and
wizards have returned to finding their own test crews - it does not hurt
to advertise interest in the task, however. We will be looking into new
ways to discuss suggestions and their results in The Canticle. We will also
continue with more stories on Nepeth, as much indeed has been going on in
the capitol of the nation.
Many thanks to Theryn for holding the offices up while the staff has
been gone and for the Mortus and poll reports in this paper, as well
as to Newt for his help in compiling the news pages. Thanks to Serin,
Kcaryths and Jerusulum, and our interviewers and interviewees: Tarott,
Lorien, Tlachtgae, Dubanka, Guest and Theryn again.
We hope you enjoy the new issue!
Fir
Acting Editor
The Canticle
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<*> CANTICLE INDEX <*>
-------------------------------------+-------------------------------------
News in Brief......................2 The Mortus Report..................9
Local News.........................3 A Tale of Two Men.................11
Voting Results.....................4 An Interview with Tlachtgae.......13
Meet The Senators: Theryn..........5 An Interview with Dubanka.........16
Nepeth: The Real Story.............6 Fun Stuff To Do This Year.........19
Meet Guest.........................8
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 2
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NEWS IN BRIEF
-----------
---
-----------------------+-------------------------------------
An increase in tavern violence has | The Senate conducted a survey on
been reported, as broken bottles | various directional questions. The
have become a weapon of choice for | results can be seen at the Senate
brawling clients. | audience hall. Also, a site of webs
-------------------------------------+ has reportedly been changed.
Willim, who runs Ironman's smithy +
---
----------------------------------
with his uncle, calls the attention | Explorers of the northern coast
of young adventurers: it is not as | of Anguish have found a small
easy to lose his special equipment | island of refugees needing help.
anymore. He also cautions against +
-------------------------------------
spending too many coins at the body | The most powerful of adventurers
shop, recently improved. Ironman | have even more power to gain.
agrees: "Deposit your money at the +
----
---------------------------------
bank!" | Those keeping "score" of any
-------------------------------------+ "wimpy" behaviour will be more
Paladin armour seems to be shining | "aware" of their colourful party
brighter than ever, and mages have | mates.
learned to mumble their arcane +
-------------------------------------
knowledge in a way that more mundane | Nocturne's young admirer is rumoured
listeners can understand as well. | to collect just any old junk.
-------------------------------------+
-------------------------------------
The amount of new libraries in the | Novice adventurers in the Elven
realm has made it possible to host | forests may find they can help
actual literary discussions in the | protect the delicate balance of life
Tantallon library. Webster notes | at a nature preserve.
that his late friend, the Librarian, +
-------------------------------------
would 'ook' with joy. | As the northern mists first parted,
-------------------------------------+ a band of brave explorers took off
Breaking and entering gives Law more | to see what would be revealed. Find
work now that hoodlums have begun | out what happened to them after all
to use axes to chop down doors. | these years.
-------------------------------------+-------------------------------------
An expedition to the camp of rangers in the northern forest brings reports
that their equipment has taken a new tone; their furs and leather armours
are qualitatively different, and several scouts were seen practicing with
throwing hatchets or cutting large hunks of meat into smaller pieces. When
asked about supplying the Guild of Fighters in Tantallon with whetstones,
several of the camping men and women warned weapon sharpeners to pay
proper prices or make friends with a ranger by offering to sharpen
something for them.
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 3
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LOCAL NEWS
Representatives from the Tantallon Fighter's Guild boast that they
can sharpen any weapon with a blade or point and keep it honed and
ready for battle, after an early Ansmonth interview. Claims that
the guild has attempted to strongarm the northern ranger camp into
supplying a steady stream of whetstones and leather strops have
been dismissed as "ridiculous", while polled rangers continue to
provide the items on a free market basis.
The Fighters also brag that the injuries of recent patients at the
Cleric's Common are due to escalations in conflict with a new
Scythe threat that comes from the forest blocking a strategic
bridge. They deny any danger involved in sharpening; "As long as you
aren't a crybaby, there's nothing wrong with picking up a few
nicks and cuts from handling a blade you're too unfamiliar with."
Church officials press for caution in practicing untrained
abilities and suggest carrying a bottle or two of their fine wine,
which they claim is transformed from simple water.
-----------
A dusty old room attached to the Donator Lounge has been converted
for use by those intent on playing word games, according to the
Ancient Anguish Tourism Council. The Council claims that, "All of
the people of Tantallon should have their chance for sport, not
simply the bargoers and travellers, but those who enjoy exercising
their vocabulary as well." Recent reports of missing items in the
Adventurer's Guild can be attributed to carelessness and wanton
consumption of alchohol, says the Tourism Council.
-----------
Townspeople reported seeing several churchgoers walking across the
surface of Snag Creek after an Official CCC announcement that their
clerics had been granted the ability to bestow 'waterwalking' powers
to those who are worthy. Reports also indicate that the powers do
not last forever, as more than a few citizens were seen wading out
of the creek after slowing sinking up to their knees from just a few
inches above the surface.
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 4
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Voting Results
That's right, readers, it is time to go to the polls! Some votes have been
closed, but others remain open due to lack of a clear leader. Bear in mind
while reading the following results that they have been open for many years,
and they do not represent the opinions of the Canticle, it's editors, staff,
or their pet gerbils.
Vote: "Is AA becoming too 'balanced' for a solo player to enjoy?"
The result was 138 votes of 'NO' and 100 votes of 'YES'.
A common theme in the answers was that the answer depended on the class and
ability of the player. One necromantic voter gave the example that soloing as
a fighter was very hard compared to the ease of using a necromancer. Rangers
were often given as an example of a class easy to solo with, no matter the
skill of the player, while classes like mages and rogues needed a bit more
skill.
Vote: "Should old/themeless areas, like the Tantallon Fortress be removed
from the game?"
The result was 174 votes of 'NO' and 43 votes of 'YES'.
The voters were quite happy for the areas to be updated (and even expanded),
but the 'NO' voters were very firm about keeping the areas in the game. Their
reason was that these areas were part of the game's development history, even
if they did not fit into the history of the AA World very well. Most of the
voters, regardless of what they voted, liked the monsters within the Fortress
and want them to remain as close as possible to the way they are now.
Eight topics remain in the voting booth in the Canticle offices. Don't forget
to vote before the next issue, especially the vote in stack 1!
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 5
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Meet The Senators: Theryn
Tarott, "special" correspondence reporting for Canticle. Before me stands
an immortal wizard, the one and only Prince of No Goodness himself, Theryn.
Theryn is a soft, sensitive soul. You can see his tender icy blue eyes
looking out from the mop of white hair as he tries to gaze back hardened...
meanwhile, underneath the table, he clutches his Kermit tightly. Apparently
the force of the "Sith" (whatever that is) has not taken too dark a hold on
this young Dwarf. We sit down at the local Golden Ducat amidst free beers
and adventurous stories from Drudge himself. Theryn has taken the time to
let me interview him for the Canticle.
When asked what brought him to these distant lands of Anguish and what
makes him stay, Theryn thinks for a few minutes, his eyes fading back to a
time long ago before he replies, "I was brought here by a friend in late
2000 (I think) and have spent an unhealthy amount of time online ever
since. Learning how to play kept me interested for a long time, but now I
like adding things to the game much more. The people keep me coming back,
though."
As nosy as I am wanting to bring such interesting tidbits to our readers,
I wait holding my breath to see if he'll reveal the mysteries and secrets
he's found. Theryn, however, remains silent, and I'm forced to change the
subject, at least for now. I instead turn the questioning to his favorite
tourist attractions, and things he liked to do while remaining in these
lands. "Favourite things to do have to be coding or debugging other
people's code. Trivia games are always fun to run, too. Favourite area:
(shameless plug) the Knight's Retreat! Seriously, Drakhiya is my favourite.
Dawg's stuff rocks!" he replies almost instantly.
I then asked who of his heroes he's heard or met along his adventures in
these parts. "Favourite AA hero is probably Dawg. I never really saw him
online, but his code is absolutely beautiful. Simple, flexible and
creative. The Knight's Retreat was based on an idea of his! Greyson, too.
Never saw him online either, but he's coded a lot of fun things (Trivia/
Stars, papergirl, jester, frisbees) as well as mages and rogues among
other things." he replied just as enthusiastically as he did about his
favorite attractions and rides. "Also," he adds after a moments thought,
"Jush is my favourite AA npc. He's got so many deadly tricks."
Meet The Senators continued on page 6 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 6
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Meet The Senators, continued from page 5 ...
As Theryn polishes off his beer and orders another, he motions that his
time is growing short and he's needed elsewhere. I then ask him what he
would like to accomplish still on these great lands. "More players! Apart
from that, reviving the sense of community and fun, a couple of big
projects that I won't mention in case they take me a while."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nepeth: The Real Story
by Serin, an independent reporter
Nepeth. Who can forget its sprawling towers, well-trained military, and
bustling economy? Travelers from all over Ancient Anguish come to sample
the wares, visit the expansive library, and simply take in the sights.
But there is a darker side to this city. I spoke with Sary, a young girl
living in the slums just outside Nepeth.
Serin: Hello, Sary. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
Sary: I guess so. Can I have some coins please?
Serin: After the interview.
Sary: Oh. Well, I'm seven years old. I've been here since my parents
died.
Serin: Terrible. When did they die?
Sary: Two years ago. Can I have some coins now?
Serin: Absolutely heartbreaking. Why don't you live inside the city,
innocent little girl?
Sary: They say there's no room for us. Plus I don't have any money.
Speaking of which...
Serin: HORRIFYING!
I quickly left the the shacks, too overcome with grief to hear the cries of
the hungry and poor. What did the nobility have to say about this inhumane
treatment of the citizenry?
Nepeth: The Real Story continued on page 7 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 7
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Nepeth: The Real Story, continued from page 6 ...
Serin: Excuse me, sir? May I please speak to you regarding...?
Nobleman: Get away from me, peasant! Can't you tell them I'm in a pompous
and stuck up mood?
Serin: This is no time to be conceited and swaggering! No amount of
disdain or vanity will save the poor citizens of Nepeth!
Nobleman: Away with you, vile cur! I'm too self-important and overbearing
to speak to the likes of you.
That was the last word I could get from him. There's a word that describes
people like that, but I'm not 100% sure what it would be. However, I
could not dwell on that forever, for my mission was not yet complete. It
was clear that I needed to go much higher with my questions.
King Drin: Have you come to receive a noble title?
Serin: No, good king. I'm here to discuss the plight of the poor
outside the walls of your fair city.
King Drin: Are you here to plead your case?
Serin: In a way, yes. The people are suffering, noble lord. How do you
plan to do to offer aid?
King Drin looks around for his jester...
Sadly, no further comment was offered.
It is clear that the nobility isn't willing to fix this terrible,
heart-wrenching situation. In our typical altruistic manner, the Canticle
and I have started a relief fund for the poor of Nepeth. At least a
portion of the money will go to provide more protection from orc assaults,
food, and sturdier wooden planks. Send all donations to Serin, the
treasurer for this charitable organization.
Unless you don't... care... about the poor. You do, don't you?
________________________________________________________
|\'-._( / |
| \ .'-._\ Unhappy about your looks ? , ,|
|-.\' .-; All those scars detracting from '\`-' |
| \ .' ( your attractiveness ? _.' \ |
|.--.\' _) Visit The Improved ;-; \._|
| ` _\(_)/_ Body Shop today ! \ `'-,_,-'\ |
|______ /(O)\ _______________________________/____)_`-._\|
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 8
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Meet Guest
This is Tarott, "special" correspondant for the Canticle interviewing
Anguish renowned Guest. Guest beckoned me over to a small corner at
the Ancient Inn in Tantallon, behind the giant Holiday tree. When
one looks at Guest one might see a small, anxious little fellow.
In fact, all during the interview the poor fellow sweats nervously.
Occasionally he stops his mumbles to peer from behind the pine
branches.
We start to get down to business with starter questions of how long
Guest has been playing and what keeps him coming back. In a low
would-be casual voice he replies, "For about 11 long, miserably
wretched years. I couldn't tell you why I keep coming back except
that... the voices tell me to. Sometimes, just as I'm getting ready
to check into the Inn for the night, I find myself back here." He
wrings his pale hands giving the tree next to us sideways looks, as if
somehow it is after him.
Curiously I follow his mutterings and ask him about his voices, "You
know! The voices!" he exclaims. "They give me these, ideas, like this
one time they told me I needed to be the virgin sacrifice to these
trolls west of town. Then this other time, they had me try and join a
raiding party. Once they even told me I could fly by jumping off a
cliff! But nothing like when they told me about this one time at band
camp..." he trails off blushing.
Curious, but not that curious, the questions turn to what are his
favorite places and what does he like to do there. Narrowing his eyes
suspiciously at the tree again he answers slowly, "I like checking in
at the Inn and lying around."
Suddenly, the young man's face lightens considerably as he pops his
head out past the branches otherwise covering all but his heavy
breathing. Following his gaze one can see a young woman much like
himself, also very distrustful-looking, "That visitor sure is pretty,
she's my hero." he whimpers. "Not like those posers Tramper and
Explorer."
Meet Guest continued on page 9 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 9
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Meet Guest, continued from page 8 ...
Sensing we are getting close to the juicy stuff Guest is asked if the
rumours really are true. "You've heard NOTHING," he answers in a
startlingly menacing if not demonic voice.
Noticing this is a man of few words who won't be coaxed from his
irritable state anymore then this tree from which he clings to so
desperately, the interview starts to draw to a close. Favorite quote
along the way is pondered next. "The state of guest cannot be saved!"
he answers smiling twistedly at me. What you hope to do here in the
future is responded with more mutterings. "I feel as one day my body
will be taken over by a higher force and I will rule the land as a
wizard like no other."
Thereafter the urge to run takes over and multiple escape routes seem
as important as escaping Guest's multiple personnalities. This has
been Tarott Nash, special correspondant, for the Canticle.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Mortus Report
At the request of our readers, the Canticle had a chat with Mortus
about the most lethal beings in Ancient Anguish. Mortus was kind
enough to provide us with the top ten, ranked by number of times
they've killed players over the last few months.
Coming in at tenth place, Marquis Jush the Retreat commander has
ushered many a player into Death's embrace. When questioned, Marquis
Jush insisted that he was a peaceful man, except where orcs and
evildoers were concerned.
At ninth place, Dermott the fishmonger claims that there is nothing
fishy going on, despite his position on this list.
Filling out eighth place, a wild boar was unavailable for
comment. When approached by the Canticle, he was very aggressive. The
Canticle wishes to thank the Healer for its assistance.
The Mortus Report continued on page 10 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 10
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The Mortus Report, continued from page 9 ...
A mysterious individual named Villa the unpredictable comes in at
seventh place. Mortus assures us that such a person exists, but the
Canticle was unable to locate this man.
At sixth place, a hill giant was not approached for comment. The
Canticle attempted to shout from a long distance, but this appeared to
anger the giant. The considerate reporters at the Canticle left the
giant in peace.
Living up to its name, an irritated orc comes in at fifth place. His
comments were short and to the point, and seemed to revolve around
death or our quick departure.
Fourth place belongs to a Beast. Rumoured to reside near Balan, the
Canticle did not approach this contender. Something about being handed
a magic sword tends to make our reporters very cautious.
Third place belongs to a giant eagle. The Canticle approached a local
bird watcher, but he refused to go near the creature and rambled
incoherently about its violent territorial streak.
Ogres glared at us rather evilly when we approached them about their
second place result. By this point, all of our brave reporters were
recovering from previous wounds, so we beat a hasty retreat.
The title of Most Lethal Being in Anguish, Mortus informed us, goes to
a putrid grey troll. The troll resides at the intersection of Bardoz
Way and the old Orc Crossroads, not far west of Tantallon. Many an
adventurer has met their end at the hands of this hungry, violent
troll. No one in the Canticle could be convinced to leave the office,
let alone approach the troll for comment.
So there you have it, readers. The most lethal beings in Anguish. The
Canticle would like to thank Mortus for his time, as well as his
tireless efforts in recording deaths.
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 11
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A Tale of Two Men
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Layton shivered and wrapped his arms tighter around himself as the
cold sea wind dug deep into his flesh. It had been some time since he
had felt the embrace of a good fire and hot bowl of stew. For what
seemed like weeks he and McHaggarty had been stumbling around the
beaches of this forsaken island in search of something that they were
not sure actually existed. Several times they thought they had made
some progress only to be dissapointed and have to start their search
over again.
"Treasure they say...," Layton mumbled to himself. "We've found
nothing but rocks and a whole lot of driftwood. There's nothing here,
McHaggarty."
A retired seaman, McHaggarty was used to the cold and waved a dried
out hand at the other man.
"These things take time to find lad, they don't stay hidden for no
reason at all." With that the seaman wandered down the beach a little
further and inspected an interesting looking rock formation.
Layton shrugged and then turned and headed the opposite direction,
finding a nice, relatively dry spot to sit and then plopped himself
down on a flat rock. Pulling out a knife and a whetstone he began to
sharpen the tool, scraping away at one end.
"What does he know about this stuff? If he was really an expert on
these matters then he wouldn't need my help now would he?" Layton
continued on in his thoughts until they were suddenly iterupted by a
shout from down the beach.
"Layton boy, grab your gear and head this way!"
Layton fumbled his knife and dropped it on the ground. Picking through
the rocks for a few moments he finally grabbed the hilt and then stood
up, instantly staring down the beach in the direction of the shout.
A Tale of Two Men continued on page 12 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 12
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A Tale of Two Men, continued from page 11 ...
Not seeing anyone he began to run in the direction of McHaggarty's
voice, taking care not to twist an ankle of the slippery, salt-encrusted
rocks along the coast.
When he arrived at the point where he thought McHaggarty yelled from,
he stopped, glancing out into the water and up and down the stretch of
rocks.
"Well, I can't come give you a hand if I don't know where you are now
can I? This better not be some kind of not-so-funny sailor joke..."
Layton yelled and waited, hearing only the continual crash of the surf
upon the nearby rocks. After a few more shouts, Layton became
concerned, but didn't want to leave the spot where he was sure the
shouts had originated from.
"Alright old man, you've had your fun. Come out wherever you're
hiding so we can get off this beach and back to the Golden Ducat."
Layton waited some more... and then some more. After what seemed like
an eternity Layton decided that the old man had just left him to fend
for himself and sat down to take stock of the situation.
He was alone and without many supplies. He was not quite sure where
they had left their boat and the old man was the one with the sailing
skills. Layton scrambled up towards the cover of some trees and sat
down on the ground, pondering his next step. With a sigh he stood and
decided what he was going to do.
Grabbing the precious few items he had left on him, Layton began to
make a trek back out and back across the Cyprum Island in search of
his boat. There was no other option and clearly he was in trouble.
Layton never made it back to his boat and McHaggarty was never heard
from again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Such are the trials and tribulations of treasure hunting on the Isle
of Cyprum. Risk it if you dare! Tales are told of a hidden cavern
system on the Isle that is waiting for the adventurous and foolhardy
to try and discover!
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 13
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Interview with Tlacthgae
This interview of an active Eldar was done on the rooftop of Golden Tucat.
Lorien: What brought you to AA?
Tlachtgae: Initially, a desire to make my friends stop asking me to
play. ;)
Lorien: They were all playing?
Tlachtgae: I was in high school, and my two best friends at the time
played. AA was all they'd talk about. Scythe this. Chaos that.
Orcs. Elves. I've never been into sci-fi, fantasy, any of it.
So they begged and begged. One day while skipping a school pep
rally, I made Tlachtgae to hush them up.
Lorien: You skipped school!
Tlachtgae: I was IN school. Just not IN the pep rally.
Lorien: And what did you think about it? When you first logged on?
Tlachtgae: At first, not much. ;) I made Tlachtgae and didn't log in again
for another month. Eventually, I got a LITTLE curious and
started looking around.
Lorien: Okay. here's the question everybody wants. 2, actually. Where
did you get the name and how in ---- do you pronounce it?
Tlachtgae: Heh. That's the question I've gotten consistently for 7 years
now. ;) Tlachtgae is the Celtic goddess of the festival of
Samhain. I'm not an expert on the pronunciation, but my best
estimation is 'Lacked-gah-eye'. For the longest time, I told
people 'Just say Tee El'. Now, it's morphed into 'Latchy'.
Lorien: What changed your ways from an evildoer in Chaos to a tree
hugging Eldar?
Tlachtgae: You. And Tandara. Begging. Chaos had died off for a while at
that point anyway. And the lure of the Eldar was too strong to
resist. Plus Namril? Total hottie. I found out too late that he
favors boys more. :(
Lorien: I feel your pain. Tell the readers about the lure of the Eldar.
Why was it so strong to resist?
Tlachtgae: After I'd been suckered in initially, I fell in <3 with the I
WILL OUTFUNNEE U atmosphere of the Eldar. So Krq and Undeadguy
and Shelbe and Tandara and the QUOTE EXTRAVAGANZA got to me.
Lorien: But I thought Eldar was supposed to be just a bunch of weak
pansy tree hugging elves that were all happy and singsongish.
Tlachtgae: We're the vulgarest group around. Elves get dirty hugging trees.
Interview with Tlachtgae continued on page 14 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 14
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Interview with Tlachtgae, continued from page 13 ...
Lorien: Now. For those that don't know. What's the QUOTE EXTRAVAGANZA.
Tlachtgae: In the Eldar, many things get said. Sometimes (often?), these
things are funny. 99% of the time, they're even funnier out of
context. An Eldar quotes one of these things and uses it to best
comedic effect when the quotee is least expecting it. For
example:
"I'd spank you but my fingers are sticky." --Villara, Feb. 2002.
Lorien: That was about cinnamon rolls!
Tlachtgae: "I do like my crust stuffed tho." --Krq, Feb. 2002.
"Christ, I'm not some sort of Velociraptor, y'know. I don't
suck out the marrow or anything." --Undeadguy, Apr. 2002.
Lorien: So now that we have that spiffy new GM [Guild Master, editor's
note.], Dubanka somebody or another, what do you think? better
than the previous GM?
Tlachtgae: It's funny you mention him.
"Well, as long as he gives me a lot of money while I'm down
here, I consider it a fair trade" --Dubanka, June 2005.
And while I think ANYONE would be an improvement over our
last GM, I can't think of someone more dedicated or
enthusiastic. He started the RPS tournament, after all.
Even if he IS a stinky dwarf.
Lorien: Ah yes, the RPS tournament (which I still think was rigged).
Explain a little about that?
Tlachtgae: RPS. Rock. Paper. Scissors. It's the ultimate showdown.
Lorien: What other things to Eldar do when they aren't RPSing, and
taking down scandalous quotes?
Tlachtgae: Regaling your fellow Eldar with a smappy story is always held in
high regard.
Lorien: Smap. Define smap.
Tlachtgae: Smap is. A dark Eldar secret. I don't think I'm allowed to
explain.
Interview with Tlacthgae continued on page 15 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 15
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Interview with Tlachtgae, continued from page 14 ...
Lorien: Are you sure? Informing those less fortunate?
Tlachtgae: I don't want someone to dest[*] my headband. I mean. What if...
someone... found out? I'd be... excommunicated. Or something.
For sure.
Lorien: Really? Who would do that? Do you Eldar live in fear?
Tlachtgae: Well, I fear never feeling the love of Namril again. He'd pass
me over for EOD EVERY day.
Lorien: Well, the love of Namril is nothing to be tampered with.
Tlachtgae: Namril's love is not to be squandered.
Lorien: And the EOD (Eldar of the Day button) is pretty important. Not
everyone can be gay for a day. It takes. A special person for
that.
Tlachtgae: It's all about that button.
Lorien: Is there anything you'd like to see added to Eldar, or the game,
in fact?
Tlachtgae: To the game? Yes. But I won't comment on those things since I
intend on WACIM. ;) [Wiz and Code It Myself, editor's note.]
Lorien: Ah, so you are planning on wizzing.
Tlachtgae: If all goes well, look for it to be a departure from the
treehugging days. The general character of my idea involves
lots of violent justice. <3
Lorien: Mmm, violent justine. Or justice. Although violent justine
sounds pretty hot too.
Tlachtgae: Maybe I'll include that in my pitch. ;)
Lorien: Any advice you can give to new players?
Tlachtgae: Hm. Use the newbie line, attached to your... 'carving'. But be
polite about it. People might give you a hard time, but if you
try to be good natured about it, they'll respect that and try
to be helpful.
[*] Desting, destructing. Tlachtgae refers to an earlier guild master
temporarily banishing some people from the guild by removing their
headbands in a show of wizardly powers.
--
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 16
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Three-Way Interview with Lorien, Dubanka and Tlachtgae
Editorial note by Fir:
The long-lived elves are often accused of getting stuck on old habits,
but the Eldar are always ready to try new things. Like this three-way
interview conducted at the Ancient Inn of Tantallon, which I was given
to edit. Knowing what you get when you put two or more Eldar in the
same room, you can only wonder why there would be a need for a separate
"Chaos" guild. Lorien interviews Dubanka. At some point Tlachtgae, who had
snuck in, took over the interviewing as Lorien went to guard the making of
biscuits traditionally served with Eldar tea at interviews.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Lorien: To start off, thanks for doing this. Theryn was about to wring
my neck, so... It's a big thank you!
Dubanka: Well, he's my sponsoree, you know. Taught him how to wring necks
myself. The hard way.
Lorien: *nods approvingly* The best way. (The hard way involves many
hours of reading instruction manuals.) Okay, let's get some
background of 'Dubs'. How long have you been playing AA?
Dubanka: Well, lessee. I started playing my first character Smooty
'round May of 1995, and I wizzed[*] Dubanka in November of 1999.
So that's about 4 years playing and 6 years idling. And 3 months
in rehab.
Lorien: What made you wiz?
Dubanka: I wanted to wiz ever since I was born, or found out there was a
system on AA that you could code for it. Whichever came first
Lorien: And your first coding job? What was that?
Dubanka: Coding is what I do for a living, for 8 grueling hours a day,
so I figured it'd be a good idea to make it my hobby too.
The first thing I coded on AA was the Council Herald. It was a
lot of work, but I finally managed it so that everyone hated it.
Lorien: Oh yes. I hated him with a PASSION.
Dubanka: I mostly coded it because I was supposed to be coding something
else, and I wanted to stick it to the man.
[*] "Wizzing", becoming a wizard, is a transformation from being a
player to being a creative power behind Ancient Anguish.
Interview with Dubanka, continued on page 17 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 17
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Interview with Dubanka, continued from page 16 ...
Lorien: Which reminds me. I need to kill you later for that.
Dubanka: I'll have Theryn give you a reminder wringing.
Lorien: And Eldar, what drove you there?
Dubanka: Well, when I first logged on, there were two groups of people
outside the inn. They were advancing towards each other,
stepping and snapping in rhythm. Later I found out it was the
Eldar and Scythe, ready to rumble. Well, nothing went down that
day, as Prince of Verona broke it up, so I chose the side with
the shiny headbands.
Dubanka: Also, my sister was an Eldar, and she introduced me to both the
game and the guild.
Tlachtgae: I'm trying to remember if I knew that.
Dubanka: Her name was Chalupa. She's long, long, long, long gone.
Tlachtgae: So. The Eldar is historically an elven group. We let the
magnificent half elves and the less magnificent humans in.
How'd you feel, as a dwarf, coming in?
Dubanka: Actually, that's not the case. The Eldar was formed as a
coalition between humans and elves in protest of the Human-Elf
war.
Tlachtgae: Okay. Your knowledge of history is better than mine. What with
being Arch of Such Things. And being, you know, Guild Master and
all. But my question stands.
Lorien: As a dwarf, does it make you feel like the odd dwarf out?
Dubanka: As a dwarf, I have the perspective and the vision to take the
Eldar all the way to the championships.
Tlachtgae: Did anyone try to rough you up? Give you a hard time?
Dubanka: Well, I got my share of good-natured smapping about it. But
Grunthex had already broken the 'racial barrier' by being an
orc in Eldar, so I just rode his coattails. I tore up 3 of his
coats that way, so he beat me with a sack of oranges.
Tlachtgae: He was just trying to protect you from scurvy.
Dubanka: To this day I have a ceaseless fear of oranges and cornish hens.
Fortunately, there are no cornish hens on AA.
Lorien: I've heard some unsettling rumors of late. About the Eldar.
That the secret of smap is a closely guarded dark secret and
members could be 'excommunicated' or even WORSE lose the EOD[*]
[*] EOD, Eldar of the Day award, granted by the guild elder Namril to the
worthiest of Eldar.
Interview with Dubanka, continued on page 18 ...
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 18
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Interview with Dubanka, continued from page 17 ...
Dubanka: Smap is no secret. It is in everybody's hearts (except
Malire), but other guilds simply repress it.
Lorien: But. I've spoken to certain members. Who profess a great FEAR of
divulging the secret. Sobbing, hysterically, when I tried to
press the matter.
Dubanka: That's only because they'll be shot. With love. Of theatre. And
nobody wants that.
Lorien: Of course not. The desting of headbands. Do you plan to continue
that legacy as the Eldar Guild Master?
Dubanka: We shall never forget the valiant headbands who gave their
lives for the sake of freedom, and approximately 86 gold pieces.
Nor shall I ever be caught perpetrating such a vile deed.
Lorien: Any up and coming additions to the Eldar? That. Of course. You
can talk about. Without being. Umm. 'Excommunicated'.
Dubanka: Short answer: no. Medium answer: no-t right away. Longer answer:
no-t right away unless I feel like it. Final answer: no-t right
away unless I feel like it, which isn't likely.
Lorien: No future RPS[*] tournaments planned?
Dubanka: I would like to hold a 2nd Whenever I Feel Like It Eljonsmith
Memorial RPS Tourney. It's just a matter of getting 16 people
willing and organized.
Tlachtgae: Oh! Um. So. When this tournament is rigged, can I at least
make the last tier?
Dubanka: Nope! *winks obviously*
Tlachtgae: *drums her fingers together and says: Excellent.*
Dubanka: #1. The Larch. The Larch. #1. The Larch.
[*] RPS, Rock-Paper-Scissors, a game played in a grand tournament within
the Eldar guild in the memory of a player banished for bad behaviour.
The Eldar have a long tradition of sympathy towards potty mouths.
Interview with Dubanka, continued on page 19 ...
The Black Bear
_ _ - Laying claim on Ancient Anguish - _ _
_(_)(_)_ _(_)(_)_
(_).--.(_) Remember: if you can't beat them, join them! (_).--.(_)
/ \ / \
\ / The guild is open to rangers, clerics, mages, \ /
'--' adventurers, fighters and shapeshifters. '--' jgs
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Volume 20.0 24 Ansmonth, 585 Page 19
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Interview with Dubanka, continued from page 18 ...
[Editorial note: Dubanka answers a question asked by voices in his head.]
Dubanka: Well, that's a very intriguing question. The main challenge of
being World Arch is trying to keep track of all the various
histories present on AA. As well as determining when a new
object fits within the time period in which AA exists. Of
course, the mitigating factor there is nobody really cares.
But, like goldfish, it's only something you really notice if we
screw up.
Tlachtgae: Well. SOMEONE cares. You just happen to be the only one.
Lorien: A couple more questions and I'll let you back to your fu... er,
work. What advice do you have for an apprentice or an apprentice
to be?
Dubanka: My best advice to an apprentice is to get to 500 as fast as
possible. :) Because being an apprentice sucks.
Lorien: *nods wisely* Very very wise advice. Okay. Any advice to new
players?
Dubanka: Well, I guess my advice to them is to find a good guild and make
some good friends who don't mind answering questions.
Lorien: Any last minute words of wisdom for AA and the Eldar?
Dubanka: Don't do drugs, unless the drugs get you a good return on hps
for the cost.
This was the first of Dubanka's interviews. In the coming uncountable
interviews, Dubanka has promised to recite his old war stories. Welcome
back to Dubs, the continuing saga.
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Fun Stuff To Do This Year, by Jerusulum
Eat an insect leg. | Fly on the flying shield.
Make a tent. | Enter a coffin.
Play trivia. | Read two different newspapers.
Give a coin to Edog. | Vote for a Mortal Council Member.
Smash a door. | Turn in 8 different criminals to the Picckard.
Stake an ogre. | Eat chocolate cake.
Go on a scalp hunt. | Stumble into a poison ivy patch.
Post a Flame. | Get poisoned and cured.
Chew some gum. | Drink a potion.
Shrink. | Get married.
You turn back to page 1.