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.. ..
.||. ||.. ...
|| || || ||.||
`|.. || || `|.. ..|'''.| '|| || '||
'|' ' .... . .... ..||.. ... ..., || ....
|| '' .|| || || || || .| ' || .|...||
'|. | .|' || || || || || || || ||
''|...'| '|..'|' ||. ||. '|..' .||. '|..| ||. '|...'
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 1 Coin
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Welcome, good readers, to another issue of The Canticle. After we got some
help from an economy expert, we have been measuring our sales to help plan
the budget for the next paper. We have also found that keeping our money
in the bank seems to work much better than using the editor's old boots
for the same purpose. We have some interesting numbers for you and for our
potential future investors...
Time[1] the sales
were tracked Papers sold Readership
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Volume 13.0 11.1 months 132 (12/month) 103 (9/month)
Volume 14.0 6.5 months 252 (39/month) 121 (19/month)
Volume 15.0 2.2 months 121 (55/month) 68 (31/month)
Volume 14.0 was the only one followed from the first day of publication to
the day 15.0 came out. 15.0 is missing a few weeks from the end between the
writing of this editorial and the paper actually being published. (Only the
paperboy's sales have been tracked.) During the total tracking period, we
reached 238 different readers! Remember that if you have missed a paper,
you can still buy it at the Canticle archive.
I would like to thank Meg, Eurus, Fiend, Spock, Obasa, Mystic and Tiyowan
for their help in getting material for this paper. If there is something
you would like to write or read about, let us know!
Fir
Acting Editor
The Canticle
[1] All times are AA time.
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<*> CANTICLE INDEX <*>
-------------------------------------+-------------------------------------
News in brief......................2 Mortal Council News...............12
Interview with Fiend...............3 Top 10 Signs It's A Mage..........13
Interview with Spock...............4 The Comprehensive Ability Guide...14
Interview with Eurus...............8 From The Poet Board...............19
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 2
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NEWS IN BRIEF
___________________________________________________________________________
Gabe and alts Spexter, Daikko, Kool, Rude, Dragonfart, Loozer, Twista,
Fluid, Newport, Parliament, Imbetter and Peaveytwo have been banished
from the realm for numerous crimes including player-killing. During a
Law Storm, Arah and the Wild Hunt made their disagreement with such
behaviour quite clear, and the search of various missing body parts of
the offenders continues.
___________________________________________________________________________
|
To compete with recent ranger | Clerics have made a breakthrough in
research for waterproofing pipes, | uncursing some items they found
Puffy happily reports that his | with the help of a map bought from
pipes can take at least five more | a mysterious stranger. "After all
drops of water in a minute than | the trouble we went through to get
regular ranger-carved pipes can | those things, we just couldn't leave
take without going out. | them like that," they report.
____
______________________________|________________________________________
|
The keeper of the castle library | Kazarov, King of Orc Mountain, has
in Nepeth swears he saw someone | made it known that he has acquired
looking exactly like Alton trying | some new titles for his library at
to buy the book Zarkan - Life And | a hefty price. When interviewed about
Achievements, stating he was in | this new interest of his lord,
need of *something* new to read. | Kazarov's head librarian said, "Well,
Similar sightings have been | he doesn't *read* them all that much,
reported outside of Nepeth as | but do you people have a habit of
well. | buying jewelry to eat it?"
__________________________________|________________________________________
The Hobbitat pub has made an investment into entertaining its customers by
new things, now that the long-standing joke about "Is that a kitten in your
pocket or are you trying to smuggle out a drink?" has grown old. The new
board game, Crossroads, has drawn numerous new customers into the pub
already, so the investment is obviously paying off. The original idea has
been credited to Decker, who spent too much time watching people passing
the Tantallon crossroads.
___________________________________________________________________________
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 3
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This interview is with a member of AA's law team, an orc by the name of
Fiend:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
MeG: How long have you been playing AA?
Fiend: Me been playing for about 10 years. 2 friends from school tell
Fiend about AA. Them like "You be orc, you join Scythe, you smash
and plunder." My life has never been the same since...
MeG: What class was Fiend and how long did you play that mortal before
you wizzed?
Fiend: Me Fighter, then Thief, then Rogue, then Fighter again. Me wizzed
maybe 4 or 5 years in, me forget.
MeG: What made you decide to apply for a law team job?
Fiend: It always something that interest Fiend, and Malire and co. are
very cool people.
MeG: What keeps you coming back to AA?
Fiend: Me play a Female Knight Elf Paladin, don't tell anyone. *Grunt*
MeG: What was your favorite thing to do on AA when you were playing
Fiend?
Fiend: So many things. Fiend like to smash monsters (and kniggets). Fiend
like to steal earbags. Me also involved in some insane exp runs
back in the day.
MeG: Did you have any favorite areas?
Fiend: Frostgiant steading.
MeG: If you could change just one thing on AA, what would it be, and why?
Fiend: Me think AA is good the way it is, me think if Fiend change
anything, maybe be add an area, with more awful weapons. Me always
thinking of new and innovative ways to maim and kill players. I
mean um, hi there.
MeG: What has been the biggest change(s) you've seen on the mud over the
years?
Fiend: Maybe rivers. Fiend think more people are like orcs than they
think. Them not like to get wet. Maybe it make them clean. Fiend
like to avoid water at all costs, but Fiend is fierce swimmer.
Rivers not bother Fiend. Also, Fiend witness the addition of many
things, Paladin class, changes to mages and thieves (there are no
thieves on AA anymore).
MeG: Umm, ok then Fiend. Thanks for this interview!
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 4
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Interview with Spock
"A traveller from a far-away land known as Brigadoon, which only appears
every 100 years, Spock wanders blithely into the wonderous world of Anguish
to find a very strange land with VERY strange people. After being driven
quite mad by the Eldar, he wanders about a while until he finds the home of
Madness, Chaos itself. Residing in Chaos, he seeks to enlighten others into
irrevocable insanity. He is the Monkey King of Chaos, be aware, or end up
with poo on yer face.
"Spock was made for his own pleasure. Once you understand Intergratics,
the rest of the world seems rather dull in comparison, it's more fun to
find the patterns that underlie the Chaos of life. NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE
VIDES."
Thus begins the story of Spock, in his own words. What follows is an
interview with the player.
MeG: How long have you been playing AA?
Spock: Since Sept '94, I forget the poor devil's name, but he was quickly
ushered into the Knights of Drin as a Ranger. Sad that the Knights
no longer lie in wait for newbies and immediately rush them into
the guild and pick a helpful class for them seconds after they enter
the game. ;) I think I started Spock somewhere in '98... I'd have to
ask certain people exactly when...
MeG: How did you initially hear of the mud?
Spock: As a select few Macintosh geeks at the University of West Florida,
we had little to occupy our time online, so we would share fun sites
with one another. I was a wizard on a Diku Mud and left when I
finally became hopelessly addicted to AA.
MeG: What was AA like when you first started playing - how big was the
player base, were there a lot of areas, etc.
Spock: Gods, we had that player limit going on... sometimes you'd have to
wait for an hour or two to log in... in those days I spent more time
on the Diku mud coding while I waited to get on AA, and would often
play on both at the same time. There were a fair amount of areas,
heck, most of the time I'd spend riding Defarge's coattails at warp
speed being dragged around God only knew where... for the first year
on AA I knew the way to Nepeth and Dalair, the rest I was being
dragged by tanks all over and I had NO clue where anything was. It
wasn't until I made a cleric that I started learning directions to
places, I've got some mighty old maps in my file cabinet still...
Interview with Spock continued on page 5 ...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 5
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Interview with Spock, continued from page 4...
MeG: Did anyone help you out by showing you the ropes?
Spock: Oh yeah, back then the Knights were THE Helpful guild. Defarge,
Suze (Fishlady!), Caryn, Bodeca, Blackadder (Badbladder), Jarek, and
a host of others. Plus all the nutcases in the UWF Mac Lab that were
addicted to AA.
MeG: What keeps you coming back to AA?
Spock: I have NO clue. I've often described AA as the cheapest addiction
ever created. It's worse than Crack. I think the only way I'll ever
stop coming to AA is if it shuts down forever... but I hope at least
one inventive wizard has a copy saved at home for just such an
emergency.
MeG: What do you like the most about AA, and what do you like the least?
Spock: Quality of coding... AA is a very heavily thought out world, you
can't find detail like AA's anywhere else. The Diku that I used to
work on, went from a nice Medieval theme to being a little bit of
everything... from space adventures to modern Cthulu tales to Conan
the barbiturate... they tried to go too far and it bit 'em in the
butt. What do I like the least?? Easy, Illegal PK. That shoulda
been ended and arenas put in a LONG time ago. Look around for some
of the old players that have been illegally PK'd after working their
asses off for YEARS... where are they now?? Gone, nevermore to
return. Fortunately, I don't get mad about it, I just yell & scream
a lot until everyone is thoroughly tired of hearing me bitch about
it. Hopefully they'll solve it without me having to resort to a
campaign as heavy as the anti-theft one I trucked on before
truesight & etc came into play. Anyone who was around for that knows
I was doing a lotta work not only shouting & posting, but a helluva
lotta lobbying behind the scenes. Once I get my teeth into
something, I'm gonna worry it like a pitt bull, hit it from 54
angles and then run it over with a bulldozer. It is my hope that
eventually illegal PK will be so hard to accomplish that even Opie
gives up on it.
MeG: If you could change one thing on the mud, what would it be and why?
Spock: I love Nepeth now, the guards are actually functional and do their
job unlike before. I think Amante's Proud Knight area, Alton's
Caverns, the Bullette Fortress, and our MacBeth area should all be
modified to where all mobs are Z-monsters that Assist, and the top
dawgs should be able to call for help like Zephani.
Interview with Spock continued on page 6 ...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 6
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Interview with Spock, continued from page 5...
Spock: I'd like to see more monsters that are intelligent and attack
bashers. Oh, and for God's sake, someone PLEASE FINISH FUB'S!!!! You
fawkers are prolly gonna make me WACIY just so it'll get done.
MeG: Do you roleplay your characters and do you try hard to piss people
off or is it just a natural sort of phenomena?
Spock: Yes, I do roleplay. Each character has his own little storyline and
rules to follow. Spock started out as an elf mage in Eldar, and
after dying repeatedly to Amathera/Tandara smap, decided that the
Eldar were the most fawking annoying guild on earth and set out to
out-annoy the entire guild for the rest of his born days... and
anyone else that torqued him off... who knew he'd last this long??
Now he has more or less become the Monkey King, NOBODY is safe from
his gibes... hopefully his tale will turn out better in the end??
DB the Knigget has a mad-on for Scythe, my Raven just LOVES to steal
from Bears, my Scyther hates everything and everyone (go figure), My
Monkee is possibly the quietest, running about pelting happily, and
the rest kinda do whatever comes to mind.
For the second part, nawp, not really, it just seems to flow
naturally. Most folks tend to get Spock, he's a helpful old codger
who gets uppity on a regular basis, most find him funny, a few can't
handle Spock at ALL, and those are usually the ones who need a
humour injection in the worst way. Dear God, what sort of people get
cranky when someone yells YAY LAW TEAM!! Think about it... in any
case, those who truly enjoy the character Bester from Babylon 5
enjoy Spock the most.
MeG: What class/race/guild is Spock and why did you choose those?
Spock: Mage/elf/Chaos, altho' Spock started out quite differently, and has
been a ranger, rogue, cleric, and mage. I needed a mage, since Spock
had enough scars to make a leather vest, (MORE SCAR LOCATIONS
PLEASE) I used him as a test char, trying out different things until
I hit on the right combo. Elf Mage = high sps. Guild choice...
mmmm... well, My final choice was Chaos, mostly for the people in it
at the time, lotsa fun rapscallions who really knew how to raise
some heck. But it was a close thing, as Monks have what is arguably
the most powerful ability in the game... mpray, which is PERFECT for
mages. But EVIL won out... not to mention the nifty Channel ability.
Interview with Spock continued on page 7 ...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 7
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Interview with Spock, continued from page 6...
MeG: How has the mud changed since you started?
Spock: Lots more teens now... and I've noticed that they are far less
civilized than my contemporaries. At least there are some lines I
won't cross, unless pushed to it...whereas the teens will pretty
much get as nasty as they wanna be all day long. As SOMEONE often
says, "I get more complaints about you than anyone else, but you are
FAR from the worst offender, you're just the one the clique's won't
tolerate. Not to mention at the same time frame that they are
reporting you, they're often saying much worse than you have on
their own guildlines". I'd like to see the Old Codgers like General
Dale & Dawg return and be more active, they'd hang out and be fun,
yet their presence tended to make those around them be a bit more
patriotic... a bit more careful with their actions... and when ya
got an Attaboy from Dale, wowsers... whatta rush.
MeG: Any advice for brand new characters?
Spock: After creating a character and farting around a bit, find a nice
safe Tantallon room to lie down in and open up www.anguish.org/ then
go to the Archives. Read about the character class you have created
from beginning to end. Take Notes. You will then return and EXCEL.
Make VERY GOOD MAPS. Pick a guild that fits your personality.
Enjoy. :-D Don't eat the peyote buttons. I used to treat mudding
like spelunking, MAP every fawking square you travel into so that
you don't get lost. Explore slowly and always remember the way back
to safety. Read yer help files and type, "Help, help, I'm being
repressed" and "Help Flint".
MeG: Any other things you'd like to say that I may not have asked about,
please feel free.
Spock: AA goes through fits and starts, ya never know what's going to
happen next around here... so if you have an open mind, it's a much
more enjoyable experience. I pity those who do not approach FUN as I
do... do so with abandon, relish, and a bit of mustard. ;) Ya only
live once, might as well make the ride worthwhile. Don't be like the
old mage who studied all his life to learn the spell that made nude
virgins appear in his bedroom... by the time he learnt the spell, he
was so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old
grimoires that he couldn't remember what happened next... poor ole
Flint...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 8
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This is an interview I did with a genuine newbie, Eurus, through email. It
provides a unique and insightful view of AA from a fairly objective
viewpoint.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
MeG: How long have you been playing AA?
Eurus: I have been playing Ancient Anguish (AA) for about 3 weeks now. I
made level 6 in one day with my mage and a trusty little fire dart
in the haunted manor, then haven't been back with him. I created
several characters to test classes and ideas. I made both male and
female and was surprised to find that no one cared which sex the
character was but ignored all of them about equally. In most MUDs,
the girl characters are more favored and given a lot of extras by
older, more experienced players. This was refreshing and at the
same time, since I was on my own mostly, it was most frustrating.
MeG: How did you originally find out about AA?
Eurus: I played Gemstone III by Simutronics for many, many years and had
several high level characters with guilds, classes, specials,
homes, pets... etc. It was a very complex system, but also very
costly. I decided that after not logging on over several months,
that it wasn't worth the money I was spending per month on the mud.
I had discovered AA originally many years back, but decided to try
Gemstone III instead. I played Gemstone exclusively, but when I was
throwing away many, many maps, notes, ideas, worksheets, graphics,
etc... for the game I found the old scribble for Ancient Anguish. I
did a search for the mud on the old, but my favorite search engine,
WebCrawler, and found your home page. I also found a couple of
players' reference sites, printed out some notes, logged in and
began.
MeG: When you first logged on to the mud, did you find it was a fairly
easy process?
Eurus: The character creation process was really easy. I was used to having
several stats (10) that grew on a level system based on your race
and your class. Also, depending on stat placement, these stats
determined how many mental and physical stats that you had available
to purchase skills. All skills were available to every class, so you
could do anything you wanted, but it was weighted that certain
classes specialized in certain skills and could purchase them much
more cheaply to make the game balanced.
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 9
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Interview with Eurus, continued from page 8 ...
Eurus: In AA, all you had to do was pick a name, a sex, a race and if you
wanted to list your email account, a password, and boom, you were
ready to play... well, almost. You had a character but didn't know
anything. If I hadn't been exposed to mudding prior, I'd have been
completely lost. As it was I typed help, and found a nice help
system. I wandered around a lot, got attacked by a troll. I didn't
find a class easily, nor did I get a lot of help from other players.
I finally was asked if I was a "new" newbie... then I got some help
from him.
I initially joined the Mage class and Courts of Chaos. I was
told not to upset anyone in the Courts by my sponsor cause no one
knew me and didn't know if I'd fit in. I think I've managed not to
offend too many people. I asked for a lot of help initially on their
guild line. They told me to get a "Newbie" channel and ask my
questions on it... There wasn't a mud school either, like [the one]
you find on Merc MUDs. So getting started was very difficult, but
after you played around, killed yourself a couple of times and
learned it wasn't as competitive as other MUDs, the mud was fun.
MeG: Were you already familiar with MUDs and the commands or did you have
to seek assistance?
Eurus: I played a specialized mud for years, and I played Merc MUDs. This
is my first experience with an LP Mud. I had to seek help to get
started. I still don't know what to do when I log in Eurus now. The
guy I was getting my equipment from stopped giving it to me....
MeG: What was the most frequent source of your assistance? Were the help
files actually helpful?
Eurus: I did receive assistance. I used the help files. The most helpful
ones were 'help newbie' and 'help newbie2.' The most helpful part of
the mud was initially for me, my Guild--The Courts of Chaos. When I
had exhausted that group of wonderful people, they encouraged me to
find a carving and use the newbie line for future requests.
MeG: What have your interactions with other players been like so far?
Eurus: I haven't had much interaction with other players. Most of the time,
I just read the guild lines or ask my questions on the newbie
channel. I have said hello to several people at the crossroads, and
have generally been ignored. When I ask questions on the newbie
line, I have gotten generally useful answers, a lot of sarcastic
cracks by people trying to be witty. There is no "role-playing" on
here, most of the people are themselves and it looks to be a race to
get to level 19 then hang out like a giant chat-room. I hope I'm
proven wrong. Interview with Eurus continued on page 10 ...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 10
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Interview with Eurus, continued from page 9 ...
MeG: When it comes to actual game play, do you find the mud to be
difficult as a brand new player or do you think it's challenging,
easy, etc.?
Eurus: The mud is actually very challenging. You have quests and apparently
you can't ask questions about them or at least you don't get those
questions answered. The classes are hidden and it takes a while to
find them, or you have special tasks that you have to do to be able
to join them. I died twice trying to create a ranger and for a small
city, Hobbitat is very difficult to navigate. I still haven't found
the necromancers, I've looked all over the Courts for them, which is
where I was told to look. Help files could be a bit easier to find
with maybe a prompt or two when you first arrive at the inn,
although you'd never see it with all the spam that I got when I
first logged in.
MeG: What level is your character now, and how long has it taken for you
to achieve that level?
Eurus: When I finally joined a class, I ran CX for a bit, and then bought
my flame dart. I managed level 6 with it in the manor in one day. I
played, and played and tried to learn your system, asked lots of
questions. I made a few other characters but haven't had any luck
with them and finally suicided them. I found out that even though a
name is free, if it's been used before, they may still have leftover
problems in the system. I made a female named Constance that I
thought would be a Dwarven paladin, but when I went to join them, I
was told that I still hadn't finished running my last errand and
needed a piece of rope... this was most amusing as I haven't had a
paladin named Constance before. Go figure!
MeG: Do you think there is any way AA could improve to help brand new
players such as yourself in making the experience go smoothly?
Eurus: In Gemstone III, they had a mentor society which I think is similar
to your newbie line. However, the difference is, when you first
created your character you didn't start in the inn, but at the hall
of the mentor society outside their gate with a rope. You pulled the
rope, and it assigned you to a mentor, who arrived to welcome you to
mud, showed you around, helped with your first level, and generally
answered questions so that you didn't wander around aimlessly for
hours. If you didn't want to participate in that, you went through
the gate and found yourself outside the inn... so that you started
from the inn from that point on.
Interview with Eurus continued on page 11 ...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 11
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Interview with Eurus, continued from page 10 ...
Eurus: I don't know how difficult it was to code, or anything, but it was
a very nice part of the game. You had an initial contact, you had
your questions answered, and you weren't left wandering aimlessly
around for hours. AA is a great mud, once you get the hang of it,
but it isn't very easy to learn if you have no idea what's going on
when you first log in.
MeG: What is your overall impression of AA so far? Do you like it? Are
you enjoying yourself? Any particular difficulties?
Eurus: I like AA. I plan on making it my new home. The mud isn't as complex
as the ones I've played in the past, I think it could get stagnant.
I noticed that several times that many people where asking for
certain items so they must be uniques or something. That doesn't sit
well with me. I am used to having my own house to store things,
locker space, my equipment was mine. I'm having difficulties
adjusting to having to spend my initial time finding equipment,
especially as I run CX to get the money to buy the stuff. It's a
learning curve, and I'll get through it. The people could be a bit
more friendly and role-play a bit more. Otherwise, I'm enjoying
myself.
MeG: Can you just describe how you felt when you first started to play...
use your own words and say as much as you need to in order to
portray your experience so the rest of us will be able to completely
understand...
Eurus: When logging in and getting started, it asks you for a name. If you
choose a name, and it's already taken it doesn't ask you if this is
the correct name... it asks you for a password. If you have the
password, great, if not it just closes. It should give you an option
to verify that you are the owner of this character, or the spelling
is right, say anything, don't just close. It looks like the thing
crashed. When you do get into the inn, there is so much spam. Then
you have no idea what to do. Generally there isn't anyone to help...
usually you're told read the help files, which is a huge amount of
spam. You don't know which files are the most important, and if you
have to read all of them. You finally get it narrowed down to newbie
and newbie2.
Interview with Eurus continued on page 12 ...
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 12
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Interview with Eurus, continued from page 11 ...
Eurus: You hardly ever get anyone to speak. Then last night, I logged on
and got on the Newbie line, and asked for some help with creating a
general elf character for a non-mud experienced player. I was told
elf fighter was easy, but moot. No explanation, eventually told that
it was the most damaging class with the least damaging race. Told to
be a ranger, a rogue, a mage, but rogues don't exist, mages are hard
for newer players to play and ran in circles. I finally threw my
carving into the garbage can in frustration.
The mud tries and claims to be newbie friendly, and it may be
true, but I haven't seen much of it to justify that claim.
________________________________________________________________
M O R T A L C O U N C I L N E W S
( I N B R I E F )
The Senate board discussion continues; suggested mortal say on any and all
wizard projects was turned down with the following arguments: a) It would
severely deteriorate coding motivation for many wizards. b) An educated
opinion would most often also require detailed (read: wiz-info-detailed)
information about the "big picture", how the project fits together and/or
conflicts with other projects and the current world theme and history.
And finally, c) many wizards are unwilling to discuss their projects
beforehand due to the common effect of numerous "when are you going to be
finished?" queries following that. (The acting editor likes it when people
show interest, personally, but she hasn't worked on major projects causing
much feedback yet.)
One of the two MC mage representatives, Tiyowan, has been holding numerous
Mage Ideas Conferences at the Mage Tower. Various mage-related ideas have
been brought up and discussed there. He asks that any further ideas be
mailed to him or posted on the Mage board.
___________________________________________________________________________
The Gold Cat - finest dining north of the Natirar!
We specialize in goat stew and caribou steak. Come visit us in
Norton, we are practically in the centre of this fine, bustling
town. And after you have had enough of our splendid ale, you can
rent a cosy room to sleep off the aftereffects!
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Volume 16.0 24 Okdyetenn, 570 Page 13
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Top 10 Signs Your Treasure-Hunting Colleaque Is A Mage
10. When you're agreeing on who carries what heals and equipment, he pleads
frailness, but when you're gathering loot, his pockets seem bottomless.
9. When you decide to race for the treasure chest, he always falls behind
at first but then shows up there, at the same time as everyone else,
without ever breaking a sweat.
8. The troll that drove your party away from its cave comes after you a
while later, coughing, eyes watered and growling something about an odd
mist.
7. He stays suspiciously calm when a lightning storm starts above, barely
misses your party and occasionally knocks out a monster - or a party
member who ticked him off last week.
6. When you are saving rations during a long trek, he can get drunk and
stuffed on water and a ginseng root alone, but you never see him eating
the thing.
5. He always seems to find out when some other party member has been paying
their regards to Misha.
4. If cornered, he seems to be able to talk anyone into not hacking him
into pieces, even if the monster is clearly stone-deaf.
3. Whenever he wants to have some boring-looking item from the loot, it
inevitably turns out to be something incredibly expensive.
2. He shows a sick interest in books and other things with writing on them.
- - -
1. He talks in his sleep sometimes and the next morning there are burn
marks around his bed and some party member has caught an odd disease
which makes them look terrible.
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A B I L I T Y H U N T I N G ?
by Azaphael, an ability junkie.
So, have you admitted to yourself you are an ability junkie? Fishing for
hours and hours to get to that sweet phase when you are a master of the
art and finally free to never fish again? (Well, fishing is actually among
the more interesting abilities to just use, but you know what I mean. If
you do not, why are you reading this?)
Alas, not everything is trainable. You can spend hours and hours being
poisoned and not be any better prepared against your next session with
that icky naga guarding the treasure which is rightfully yours; all despite
the hard cash you paid for that map and probably even went through the
who is rumoured to sell the things...
So, this article is dedicated to us who cannot help wondering if sitting
still for a day listening to Decker will be any help to our language skills
(and who are prepared to do so if there is the slightest indication that it
might work). Get on with it.
* Archery: This is the noble art of taking a stick and, using some sort of
contraption, making it fly at your enemies at high speeds. It is
trainable, and rumour has it there is also a way of temporarily making you
a better archer.
* Blocking: Blocking is class-specific, that is, if you're not a cleric,
ranger, fighter or paladin, you probably do not have it and cannot have it
either. Blocking, even though it is a clerical and paladinial ability,
does not have anything to do with letting reality through as some might
suggest, but determines how well you can make use of a shield in a
defending sense. There are ways not available to everyone to boost your
skill by having a shield which agrees with you. Practice, on the other
hand, does not seem to help much if your arms just cannot take the impacts.
* Charm resistance: Annoyed that the heart-crusher next door once again
managed to talk you into looking after his/her horrible brat or painting
their house etc, wickedly abusing their ability to turn your legs into
jelly? Then charm resistance is for you! This ability is trainable, so at
least there's something positive to get from going on to open your door at
that scoundrel/-ette. On the other hand, I have not run into a way to
boost it temporarily. Trying to think of dropping a bucketful of cold
water on the head of the charmer was of no real help.
Ability Hunting continued on page 15 ...
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* Climbing: This skill is at highest right after you learn to stand. It
goes down gradually due to learning that trying to climb everything you
see often causes pain in your hindside. Afterwards, there is no way of
really learning to become a better climber, even though being in better
shape will of course help. The right kind of equipment may return you to
the skill levels of your childhood, though.
* Cold resistance: This ability becomes essential when you run out of
firewood in the middle of Icemonth. Sitting in a heap of snow will not
make you any more resistant (more likely it will make you catch a cold),
but dressing up properly and thinking warm thoughts will help you manage
even through several-hour visits from your mother-in-law.
* Common language: This language is called 'common' for a reason. You're
relatively likely to manage it as well as is needed to speak it from
birth, and will only learn more weird ways of saying perfectly normal
things as you progress. In theory you might be able to get a mage to boost
this language skill if you were not quite learned in it already.
* Dwarvish: This language is rumoured to have a hundred different words
for 'gold' and a ten thousand different words for various types of rock.
As with other languages different from common, there is this hard-sticking
rumour that the ability does go up slowly but certainly, from other
reasons than gaining intelligence and such. A mage spell can help you
comprehend languages better as well. Of course, most born dwarves have a
natural command of the language.
* Elvish: If learning Dwarvish may be a bit rocky, mastering the tingly
language of our pointy-eared ethnic group isn't any easier. Elves and
half-elves have a natural gift for it, but the remainding populace just
about has to hire a translator or a mage to cast that Comprehend Languages
on you.
* Fire resistance: If you just cannot avoid getting into heated
conversations, at least wear your fire-proof shorts. Reading the flame
board will provably not make you any more resistant on the longer run, but
for shorter periods you can stay cool with the help of magic or the right
type of gear.
* First aid: While Fredd's medicinals come with instructions making them so
easy to use that a child can pull it off, this might not be true in all
cases. Learning first aid skills is almost your duty as a citizen.
Remember: you cannot just magically find out everything when an emergency
shows up, so practice in time.
Ability Hunting continued on page 16 ...
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* Fishing: Ahh. Fishing and relaxing, fishing in all the different water
spots you can find and the excitement of catching old, worn boots - what
more can one hope for? Well, more fishing ability, of course! Practice
makes perfect, you know. Salty John will tell you there are ways of
attracting fish better just by being well-prepared, too.
* Magic resistance: Tired of getting turned into a mushroom all the time?
(I thought of 'frog' but remembered Shifters, who do it regularly and
without outside assistance so it cannot be that bad.) Now you can do
something to at least make it a bit less likely! Well, you can help
yourself only temporarily, and all the time you've spent as a mushroom
this far does not count one bit, but then again if you know you're going to
go ask that mage down the road for your nightshade back, you can prepare
for it today!
* Orcish: This highly sophisticated language consists of many well-designed
parts... no wait, wrong entry. Seriously, even though orcish may sound like
your grunt-and-point (and afterwards, if they don't get the hint, smash
and bite) tongue, it's amazingly hard to learn by those who do not get born
with the right environment and parents. Anyone with one or more elven
parents just have to go for external help(ers) to be able to take any part
in a conversation. This has never bothered neither race that much, as the
most common form of communication between elves and orcs has always been
something along the lines of "I cut your head off once, means no, I cut
the heads off the rest of your family too, means yes." Nothing more
international than a good hit upside the head, right?
* Poison resistance: Just the thing you need to be able to take your best
friend's not-so-magnificent cooking! Unfortunately, as said before, lying
down poisoned for hours won't make you any more resistant - nor will
running around poisoned, for that matter. There are ways to prepare
yourself even for gourmet meals, however, and you can always get a cleric
to fix you up afterwards. Paladins are naturally more resistant than
others, and evil tongues might suggest that this is because they, being
constantly broke from helping those more unfortunate, are forced to eat
Samantha's cooking themselves too.
* Pottery: There is an artist living in everyone, and your abilities with
pottery will determine if your mighty winter wolf figurine looks like a
toad or a bauyakh. There is no special clay that turns you into a grand
maestro, but hard practice gives concrete results.
Ability Hunting continued on page 17 ...
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* Prospecting: This ability measures how much you can profit from soaking
your fingers in freezing-cold water and wiggling a heavy piece of metal
with dirt on it. With low ability, you will never get rich from it. With
a theoretically possible high ability, you have a minimal chance of
getting rich from it. Practice is good for you - even if your personal
development is limited to gaining experience from pneumonia.
* Rodentid: Now here is a language you do not run into every day. It is so
odd and rarely heard that you will find it impossible to keep the language
in your mind for longer than a few days, unless you keep repeating daily.
There seems to be no logic to it! You can have a dictionary in front of
you and manage to understand and even speak rodentid rather well, but
close your eyes and it dissolves. No wonder we do not see rodentid-speakers
in marketplaces.
* Searching: Now where did I put that weapon? I could have sworn I had my
elephant somewhere... High searching ability can save you from lots of
inconvenient situations. If I am to be trusted as a relatively average
representative of searchers, searching for the same item for really long
will not make you any better in the activity - you will still find it in
the exact last place you look. There is at least one way of boosting your
searching temporarily, however - with the help of a cleric.
* Seduction: This is the ability that people use to get to high places,
although they are often comfortable with the place being only about one
cubit high, suitably long and wide and relatively soft. Unfortunately (or
not), the ability tends to only work on people who do not get visitors
from the Big World (aka. Tantallon/Nepeth, for us Tantallon-centric folks)
and who have a slight cultural tendency towards allowing themselves to get
seduced by some slick foreigner. It will take some time for you to hone
your pick-up lines to perfection, but in the meanwhile dressing up,
smelling good and little presents can help you fill those gaps in your
dancing skills.
* Swimming: This ability comes in handy either when you are fishing for the
big ones and have forgotten you are only a medium-sized elf, or when you
are coming over to visit Duender and forget to look at your feet when
crossing the bridge. It is best to learn to swim before you go jumping in
rivers, because splattering around aplenty does not really improve your
techniques any. You just need to get in shape. Or borrow a pair of
flippers.
Ability Hunting continued on page 18 ...
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* Thrown weapon: This is the art of getting rid of fragile house items in
the way which also gives you an advantage in your argument with your
spouse or other relative, often preferrably by knocking them out so you
get a chance to re-evaluate your best points (apart from the throwing
cutlery at them as well) while they watch the pretty birds. You want to
get yourself an unbreakable vase and a target-like drawing for practicing
purposes, because there is no perfectly balanced weapon which makes you an
expert overnight.
* Tossing: This odd-sounding ability does not go up by getting lots of
low-value items and dropping them off in trash bins and campfires. Your
tossing ability is what you use when you just want to throw something
really far, no matter if it hits a spectator or a tree (although both tend
to take away valuable momentum from your projectile). It is a shame that
the only place your achievements on this field are taken into account uses
a cruel selection of tossees, but that is pretty much where you have to go
to become a pro. There is no such thing as an especially aerodynamic boot
to help you out.
* Trade: While some shops have tight standards on for what price to sell or
buy what, some sellers might be a bit more flexible. And that is when you
want to haggle with all the skill you have. There is a rumour that some
salespeople are like an open book and that by seeing their reactions you
get slowly but certainly better in your haggling, but this has not been
confirmed. Wearing dark glasses or bringing your uncle with a wooden
leg or aunt with a glass eye along for sympathy points does not help any.
These are business people, after all.
* Traps: This ability you use to get your hands on your siblings' secret
and guarded property and get away with it. You will need some special
equipment to even get started on the harder types. (The ones a five-year-
old could not crack, that is. People who invent child-proof containers
would be amazed at what five-year-olds manage. And what their parents
do not.) The equipment on the market is pretty even quality, and nothing
can replace plenty of practice. It is best to start with targets which
you can be caught with without ending up locked in a cellar.
Ability Hunting continued on page 19 ...
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* Weaving: Your weaving ability determines if you + thread = a huge mess,
with at least seven types of knot never seen before, or not. Practice is
good for you, as long as you remember to have something sharp at hand for
cutting yourself free and preferrably someone who can come do the cutting
for you. The latter should stay close enough that they can hear your
muffled shouts for help if needed. A good instructor can get you started
nicely, but there is no magical way to insta-perfection.
* Woodcraft: If you can do woodcraft, you know you are a born ranger. This
ability is only available through the class, and all rangers are encouraged
to practice vigorously, not only because it seems to make them improve, but
se making all kinds of neat things from wood and odd plants you
find - and selling/giving them to us unfortunates who cannot tell what a
psychedelically coloured mushroom is for before having eaten it - makes
you really popular.
If you have other things on your ability list (considering that this is
being written in Nethory 570), you're a member of some nonexisting class
and need to get a honest job.
___________________________________________________________________________
FROM THE POET BOARD: I waddle wet away from water
"My Penguin Poem" 12am but still it's light
by Mystic my egg was hatched from feet of father
(b_ * back is black and front is white
* //) I survive the coldest weather
V_)_ ice and snow don't bother me
(o_ * born with a tuxedo of feathers
//\ _o) never could I fly, you see
V_/0 _(\) !! I'm afraid of great white sharks
/ I'm afraid of polar bears
>0) * I'm afraid of hunting humans
* |\ //\ I am almost always scared
| \ U_/_ I don't see the point in flying
~~~~~~~ ^^^^^^^^ all the other birds are wrong
_o) * rather be in water, swimming
/\\ * migration takes much too long
~~~~~~~
[pictures inspired by N. Smith's penguin art]